


all my loving

by disstrack



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Childhood Friends, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Love/Hate, M/M, featuring gratuitous western movie references and unnecessary song mentions, hwang hyunjin: local lovable shithead, really just assholes being assholes, seo changbin: shameless hermit, you used to be my childhood best friend but then we grew distant and suddenly we're fake bfs au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2019-10-05 12:12:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 32,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17324789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disstrack/pseuds/disstrack
Summary: "We have a problem." Hyunjin says.“I think you need to be a bit more specific than that.” replies Changbin dryly. “Corruption? Capitalism? Waste management? Someone set your ten-page reflection paper on fire? The possibilities are endless."or: in which Hwang Hyunjin, soccer team's ace striker, last year's junior prom king, and Seo Changbin, disgruntled senior, trying to survive his last year of high school, are fake boyfriends for the stupidest of reasons (in Changbin’s opinion anyway), and love is definitely not one of them. Definitely.





	1. You Talk Way Too Much

**Author's Note:**

> "jinn, for someone who loves changjin, you only have one changjin fic"  
> "you're right ... let's post this wip bc at the rate i'm going i'll probs finish this by next year and i feel like i owe the skz ficdom something bc i've been dead for almost a year."
> 
> anyways yeah, that's basically the story there. and while this fic /is/ incomplete, i'm halfway through, so it'll definitely be completed. just ,, not immediately. pls bear with me. 
> 
> this fic is dedicated to [gaby](https://twitter.com/schoolifemv). this baby was inspired and loosely based on that three-day-made 13k fake dating changjin fic i gifted you for your bday. i hope you still enjoy this one, despite its many and major changes to the original one. 
> 
> also, huge shoutout to [dan](https://twitter.com/whaleluvr94)!! my best friend and #1 supporter in everything writing-related i do even tho they themselves are not a writer nor a stay. thank you for your marvelous comments that make me realize the areas of improvement for this story, and the ones that stand out in a good way. this story would've been an absolute mess (not that it isn't) if not for you. you're really such a big help, and to think you didn't even beta this. 🤧🤧 love you. 
> 
> everyone in skz are in senior year. korean education system is too complicated for me, so i just used the one based on my country, which i think is more or less similar to the usa one. that being said, they're all around 17-19 here. title inspired by the beatles' song all my loving, aka my literal fave.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We weren’t doing anything.” is the first thing Changbin says. 
> 
> Hyunjin places his phone down. “You have to admit that it does look like I’m giving you a blowjob from under the table.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> k so heads up they talk about some nsfw stuff here, which you might also see in future chapters, but it's just typical teenager/boy things ... no nsfw actually happens here, because c'mon guys, this is a hs fic. plus they're all underage here.

**_CH. 01: YOU TALK WAY TOO MUCH_ **

**_➸_ **

> _"Razorblade, that's what I call love,_  
>  _I bet you pick it up and mess around with it_  
>  _If I put it down_  
>  _It gets extremely complicated_  
>  _Anything to forget everything."_
> 
> _—_ Razorblade by The Strokes

**_➸_ **

**_OCTOBER 15, POST-MIDTERMS; WEEK 1_ **

Something Changbin’s learned in his four years of high school is that it’s a bit too easy to get swept up with everything that happens in life.

Life is eventful in high school, no matter how little  _actual_ interaction and activities he has — schoolwork that comes his way, the constant nagging of his family to have some semblance of a normal (normal, they say, more like _stereotypical_ ) high school life, and all the astonishing shenanigans Felix manages to bring about and drag him into to make all their lives more interesting, and in the process, infinitely more stressful. Having obstacles and issues are an inevitable part of it. Changbin, despite already being a senior, is still learning to accept that very fact. It’s a slow process, but at least there’s progress.

Still, no amount of Felix’s science experiments gone wrong can compare to this unexpected worst case scenario, where after fourth period, Hwang Hyunjin slams down his books on Changbin’s desk in totally dramatic fashion and states, “We have a problem.”

Changbin raises his head from the table, blinking blearily at the other even though he hadn’t actually been sleeping. He _had_ been halfway through entering unconsciousness though, and kind of hopes Hyunjin would just poof out in a cloud of smoke. Or at least, realistically, feel bad enough to return to his seat at the far front because Hyunjin’s weird like that, and then let Changbin have his quick nap before the teacher for their next class comes in. He’s got about ten minutes; he’ll be damned if he can’t make the most out of it.

But Hyunjin is still staring at him expectantly, waiting for a reply like Changbin’s got something useful to say. Whatever reason he may have for being here, Changbin knows it’s definitely not because he cares about his poor sleeping habits and rapidly deteriorating health.

Definitely because he needs something though.

“I think you need to be a bit more specific than that.” replies Changbin dryly. “Corruption? Capitalism? Waste management? Someone set your ten-page reflection paper on fire? The possibilities are endless.”

Hyunjin makes a frustrated noise. He’s in Jeongin’s chair, which is placed right in front of Changbin’s. The latter wonders where he fucked off to so that Hyunjin could bug him and do it relatively in private. “This is serious.”

“It better be.” Changbin says, sitting up properly. “What is it?”

“Okay, so,” Hyunjin starts, leaning forward on the chair. “During third period, I was trying to talk to Yeji. You know, that cute girl with pigtails who I’m luckily sitting beside in this class.”

“Right.” He says, just for the heck of it. Changbin has no idea who Yeji is. There are too many girls in this class, and he doesn’t even know the names of all the remaining boys, despite how scarce they are in number here. What more the people Hyunjin’s interested in? Too, too many. Hyunjin probably has as much infatuations as much as Changbin’s had sleep.

“I’ve been trying to ask her out for ages.” Hyunjin continues, which is Hyunjin Speak for two weeks, tops. “But she always gives me this vague answer that’s like, a no that kind of sounds like a yes?” Changbin raises an eyebrow. “Don’t look at me like that.” the younger quickly says. “This is not me being delusional and thinking she’s playing hard-to-get. More like . . . she’s unsure, for some reason. But she’s been like that for the past week and thing is, she’s never told me why. Until now.”

“Uh-huh,” Changbin drawls. “Have you ever considered that the reason she said no was because she somehow realized how unattractive you actually are because you clip your nails in class when you’re bored?”

“Fuck you. It’s not that.” Hyunjin smacks Changbin in the shoulder. It stings, but Changbin would rather die than admit that Hyunjin actually has enough power to hurt him.

“Oh, yeah? What is it then?”

Hyunjin dips his head forward, beckoning Changbin to inch nearer to him, as if they aren’t already physically close enough. Changbin refuses to budge, instead pressing his finger on Hyunjin’s forehead and pushing him away.

Hyunjin huffs, but relents, lowering his voice like he’s about to tell him a secret even though no one around them is near enough to hear it. “She said she liked me, but didn’t want it to go anywhere because of the drama it might cause.”

“Drama?”

“Mhm.” Hyunjin hums. “Because you and I are dating.”

“Dating.” Changbin repeats.

“Yup.”

The thing is, Changbin can count the number of times Hyunjin has talked to him last school year on one hand (it’s five), and based on previous experience, this year, even though it’s technically just started, is going to be the exact same. They aren’t even classmates, though they haven’t been in years, and that Hyunjin’s only in this class now because in the previous period his teacher was absent, so they had to combine. He’s not even supposed to be here _now_ , talking to Changbin, of all people.

“Sure. And Kwon Jiyong and I have a song together. The video’s gonna be dropped tonight, and it’s going to win Song of the Year even though it’s already October.” Changbin retorts. Calling them friends would already sound like a stretch, based on these facts alone. Dating? Don’t even get him started. “Since fucking when?”

“Since never!” Hyunjin exclaims, flailing his arms in disbelief. “But that’s what she thought. And then, you know, it all started to make sense, because I haven’t been able to score a single, decent, successful date for weeks even when I could tell things could really go somewhere. And I asked around, and apparently, this whole _class_ thinks we’re dating too. What more the entire student body? Changbin, what if they already _think_ that?”

“Is _that_ why you got called out at least, what, five times during Philosophy for too much talking? Because you were confirming all this crap?”

“That isn’t the point. I had to do it in order to obtain vital information.” Hyunjin argues. “And this isn’t a recent thing, you know. They’ve been assuming this for the past _month_. All the people I’ve asked out for the whole time probably thought I wasn’t being serious. Or thought I was cheating scum. I’m still trying to figure that part out.”

“You are scum.” Changbin points out, leaning back on his chair. Hyunjin pouts. “Look, they’re rumors, Hyunjin. You’ve never cared about that stuff before. The thing from last month hasn’t even fully died down yet. This isn’t nearly as bad.”

“This is different, okay. I could still ask people out, and they’d say yes. They just thought I was going through a phrase. Now it’s. . .” Hyunjin waves his hand, as if the act says enough. Sometimes Changbin forgets that Hyunjin asks someone out almost every two weeks, and sometimes he remembers that the statement isn’t actually accurate, because Hyunjin’s mostly talk, and his “asking out”, more often than not, becomes a hang out between friends. And if there’s one thing Hyunjin has a plethora of, it’s friends, not flings. Regardless of the fact that he talks and acts like it, which is probably partly why his reputation is the way it has been for years.

 _Curse of being popular_ , Changbin can’t help but think. Assumptions are too easy to come along just as they become nearly impossible to discard.

“I’ve been tied down.” Hyunjin complains. “No one wants me because they think I’m committed. I’m _not_. I’m single and lonely and now I’m even _lonelier_ because no one wants to buy me food and accept my compliments and take me to nice places.”

“That,” Changbin slowly says. “Is not my problem.”

“Of course this is your problem.” Hyunjin snaps, slamming his hands on the table. Changbin can’t help but jolt. Hyunjin grabs his hands to stop him from scooting away. It’s like he knows Changbin doesn’t want to be here at all, listening to whatever bullshit he’s going to say. The elder really regrets not making the ultimately wise decision of being absent today. “This is happening because you’re too close to me.”

It’s such a delusional, laughable statement, except instead of laughing, Changbin looks down at their conjoined hands, because that has much more effect. “Pretty sure that’s more of you.”

Hyunjin doesn’t really pull away, but he does let go of one of his hands to reach down to his pocket. “And this, technically.” When he fishes his phone out of his pocket, he unlocks it and presses his photo app. Phones are not supposed to be on during class hours, but of course, Hyunjin doesn’t give a shit about that. And of course, Changbin doesn’t actually give a shit enough to call him out on it.

Changbin squirms under the other’s merciless hold, but stills when Hyunjin shows him what’s on his phone. It’s a picture set in the library. Against one of tables and chairs pressed against the wall and buried amidst the rows of bookshelves for better concentration, are two figures. One is clearly seen from plain sight, seated on one of the chairs and gazing down. The angle is at side view, but the fact that the figure’s legs are slightly spread is kind of obvious, and in between them is a head poking out from them.

Changbin realizes, rather horrifically, that he recognizes the two figures from a not so distant memory. And from a different angle. A different perspective.

And what anyone who could have taken this photo or saw the scene would assume.  

“We weren’t doing anything.” is the first thing Changbin says.

Hyunjin places his phone down. “You have to admit that it does look like I’m giving you a blowjob from under the table.”

“My pants are still on.”

“They could’ve thought that it was a before photo. Or an after. Or, you know, you didn’t take down your pants in general. You don’t really need to completely in the first place to—”

“Please stop talking.” Changbin closes his eyes, silently praying that this is all just a bad dream. A really, really bad dream. “Fuck.”

“It’s okay; I have a solution to this.” Hyunjin easily says before Changbin can get a word out, awfully merrily, like he _hadn’t_ seen what Changbin just saw. “What we should do, is that we should conform. Agree to the majority. Give the public what they want. All the things you hate.”

“Thank you.” Changbin deadpans, still trying to reel himself back into the real world.

The younger grins and tightens his grip on Changbin. It occurs to the latter, just then, that he’s doing this on purpose. There’s a dangerous glint in his eyes; it makes Changbin queasy. “We should confirm the rumors.”

“Confirm the rumors.” Changbin repeats, trying to figure out what the fuck Hyunjin’s hinting at. “So your solution to the rumors about us dating . . . is to date.”

“No, not date.” Hyunjin corrects. “Fake date.”

Changbin stares at him. This probably _is_ a bad dream, except it’s not even trying to be a dream, but an open nightmare. Hyunjin’s here, after all, and he’s saying all this shit, and there’s that uncomfortable twist in Changbin’s stomach that he always gets whenever the other’s involved. “What?”

But then Hyunjin doesn’t get to elaborate, because someone yells that their teacher is coming. Quickly, Hyunjin lets go of Changbin’s hands, grabs his books, and scrambles out of the classroom, but not before sending Changbin an obvious and exaggerated wink that a few people in between them see. The teacher enters the room and begins their class, and Changbin’s forced to act like nothing particularly mind-fucking happened a few minutes ago.

It doesn’t work much, so he ends up resorting to glaring daggers at the door, as if trying to mentally murder a guy who isn’t even there anymore will get him the answers he needs.  

“Mr. Song,” the teacher — Mr. Kim — snaps, and it takes Changbin a few seconds to realize that he’s referring to him, that he’s been calling his name, albeit wrongly, for the past minute. This is not the first time. “Would you like to tell the class what’s so interesting about the door since you’re clearly not paying attention?”

The entire class is looking at him. The smart decision would be to apologize so they can move on. The dumb decision would be to go along with Mr. Kim’s game and spite him further. Many times, Changbin has gone with the smart decision. Not once has he done the dumb one, though if he was the Changbin from freshman year, that would be a different story.

The one decision wherein he can’t predict the outcome is the one he chooses to do, for once, with an unexpected surge of bravery (or stupidity).

“Sir,” Changbin says, standing up a bit. “My name’s actually never been Song, it’s Seo.”

Mr. Kim looks livid at being corrected just as he’s flustered. Majority of the class snicker, while some of them look at Changbin like he’s lost his mind, because Mr. Kim is a fifty year old man and thinks “kids these days are just asking to get their asses kicked with their wiseass comments”. Changbin remembers exactly why he hates this class, but he also can’t deny that it’s satisfying, to call a teacher out on their mistake and showcase it to the whole world (or class, in this case, but it can more or less be the same thing).

“Detention, Seo Changbin.” Mr. Kim snaps. “Today.”

 _Never mind_. Changbin sits back down on his seat. At least he got his name right.  _Finally._

From the corner of his eye, he almost thinks he sees Hyunjin, seated in the empty seat he was in from the period before, shooting him a thumbs up like he played some part in this. Well, it was technically his fault, even if he isn't actually here. 

Changbin goes back to glaring at the door. At least this time, Mr. Kim doesn't call him out on his distracted behavior. 

 

 

➸

**_SEPTEMBER 09, FIRST HALF OF THE SEMESTER; A MONTH AGO_ **

Changbin had been trying to watch a movie and was suffering the setbacks for it, which were the facts that (1) he was streaming it online instead of downloading it, and (2) using it on his laptop that was actually more corrupt than he’d like to admit, damaged from all the viruses that came along all the previous downloads he made to get programs and get access to sites he wasn’t actually allowed to have and use.

(Not that he’d dwell on what those said programs were. The less people who know, the better.)  

“—and the thing is, he’s really good at English. It’s kind of ridiculous. Then again, he wouldn’t be in AP class if he wasn’t, right, but that— that’s not the point. He’s just crazy good, and yeah, he’s got those few years abroad to give him experience, but—”

He has to admit that it does beat listening to Felix talk though. If only the damn thing actually skipped past the ads and just loaded already.

“Are you even listening to me?” Felix suddenly demands. In Changbin’s room, the light slips past the windows and inside, but it gives away nothing for them to be able to tell the current time besides the fact that it’s late afternoon. Changbin glances at the small digital clock at the bottom right of the screen. Only five minutes have passed since he opened the website to the movie.

“Definitely.” Changbin replies.

“No, you’re not.” Felix points out, crossing his arms. He’s on the bedroom floor, because Changbin doesn’t let anyone stay on his bed, with a bunch of scratch papers spread out all around him so he can scrutinize all the drafts and versions he did just trying to draw this one thing Changbin can’t understand until now. “It’s okay; I’ve long accepted it.”

“Accepted what?” he inquires distractedly.

“That you value your action movies ten times more than our friendship and knowing what goes on in my life.”    

Changbin doesn’t actually hear Felix say this, back to being engrossed in his frustration with how slow the loading bar is, so he doesn’t reply until the younger says, “I ran into Hwang Hyunjin in the Guidance Counsellor’s Office yesterday.”

 _That_ , Changbin hears. Not for any specific reason except for the fact that he just chose this moment to refocus his attention back on Felix and what he was saying, like the good friend he actually is, but of course it doesn’t actually really feel like that.

“Why were you in the Guidance Counsellor’s Office?” Changbin asks.

“She gives you free cookies.” Felix says, like the answer’s obvious.

“Right.”

Felix hums. “Anyways, someone said Hyunjin scribbled down a pick-up line on the whiteboard and covered it by pulling down the projector screen. But then Bio class was starting, and the teacher walked in before he could erase it. Middle of class, and she pulled the screen up only to see the words. A random guy in Hyunjin’s class outed him and said he was the one who wrote it, so the teacher took it as Hyunjin’s disturbing attempt to flirt with her. Hence the guidance counsellor session he had before I came in to visit.”

There’s a sudden twinge in Changbin’s chest at what Felix says. Faint yearning and weary anger. It’s a familiar sensation though, a peculiar ghost in his mind that will never leave that he’s long accepted. He’s learned to just ignore it, because it’s never meant anything. Hasn’t meant anything in years. To an extent, it makes him annoyed, that Felix brought this up at all.

But he doesn’t say any of it, doesn’t disclose his fleeting slights. Instead, what he chooses to focus on is, “Was your day that boring that the most interesting thing you had to tell me was about the latest gossip on Hwang Hyunjin?”

Felix huffs indignantly, crossing his arms. “Well, in the first place, if you actually bothered to listen to what I had to say earlier instead of trying and failing to watch John Wick 2, which you _already_ saw—”

As if on cue, the loading bar reaches to the end. Changbin grins, satisfied, and Felix yells out a protest when he realizes he’s already lost the other’s attention. Changbin clicks on the play button, and the sound of the movie playing drowns out his thoughts and surroundings.

➸

**_SEPTEMBER 14, FIRST HALF OF THE SEMESTER; A FEW WEEKS AGO_ **

Lunch period is spent in the library. Changbin has to finish a paper that’s due today and needs to get resources his teacher wants, otherwise she won’t accept it. It has to be from content in the library, and there’s just too much shit to dig through just to randomly cite sources so that his paper doesn’t appear totally biased. His classmate promised to help him a few periods ago when Changbin brought up his dilemma, but he still hasn’t showed up. In the end, Changbin decides to get started without him.

He refuses to feel hurt that he was ditched. It was an offer anyway, and it wasn’t the first time Changbin got stood up. He and Yang Jeongin aren’t even that close. They could be considered friends, except he doesn’t even have his number, never bothered to ask, and as far as he thinks Jeongin is concerned, Changbin, to him, is “that guy I can dick around with in school and kind of drag around when there’s no one else, but also not someone I’d ever actively invited for a hang _out_ of school or during break”.

He turns back to his laptop, saving the file in the USB he’ll have to give the teacher later. Glancing at the time, he realizes he still has a good fifteen minutes to spare before he actually has to get to his next class. He could eat, but he isn’t feeling that hungry right now. He contemplates on using the remaining time to take a quick nap. Library’s always been the best place for that, and it helps that he’s tucked himself in the far corner of the room.

From the side, he hears a chair being dragged over, the sound growing louder with each passing second. He doesn’t actually think much of it until the sound halts right beside him, and feels a presence by his side.

He looks up, half-expecting it to be Jeongin, having decided to actually show up even though by now it’d be useless because Changbin’s already finished, only for it to be—

Changbin raises an eyebrow at the other, concealing his surprise by masking it with a sort of dry, unimpressed look. “Is there something you want?”

“A cover.” Hyunjin says, before ducking his head down and crawling underneath the table without hesitation.

Changbin mutters a curse underneath his breath, but then goes silent when a head peeks out of one of the shelves that isolate this area from the rest of the library. It’s not really a familiar face to Changbin, but she _is_ pretty, and it doesn’t take long for him to sort of put the pieces together.

When Changbin just blinks at her, feigning complete innocence that’s believable enough, she gives him an awkward smile and walks away, apparently not finding what she had been looking for.

He looks down at Hyunjin, who is right between his legs. “This isn’t what it looks like.” Hyunjin begins.

“Really now,” Changbin deadpans.

Hyunjin winces. It makes Changbin feel sort of bad. Hyunjin’s supposedly flirtatious reputation is . . . not really a lie, per say, but it isn’t the full truth either.

“So,” the older prompts. “What’s the story with this one?”

“We have PE together.” Hyunjin says, leaning forward, and it says so much about the two of them that Hyunjin can just carelessly rest his arms on both of Changbin’s knees and it doesn’t faze the elder at all. “And she’s nice. And pretty.”

 _They always are._ Changbin blinks. “And?”

“And,” Hyunjin drawls, like he’s trying to delay the inevitable of explaining it. “She asked if we could grab coffee together sometime. And I said yes. And it was good. It was fun.”

It’s easy to tell from Hyunjin’s tone and current situation that the story doesn’t end there. “And you didn’t want anything after that.”

“She clearly made that offer for a date, but we just didn’t . . . click? To me, at least.” he sighs. “I’d try it out more just to be sure, but I didn’t really feel it, and she had such a sad look on her face when I told her that I might not be available for a while so. . .”

“So you’re avoiding her.”

“I’m sparing her feelings?”

Changbin kicks him in response. “Please don’t involve me in a potential lover’s quarrel.”

“We went on _one_ date!” Hyunjin argues, but crawls out of his hiding spot. Changbin makes sure to land one more kick — a light one — at the younger before he takes the seat beside him that he previously dragged over. Hyunjin doesn’t react to it. “If every person I went on a first date with would be my lover, then you and I would’ve been married at some point.”

“I have no idea what you mean, but I do know that whatever you’re saying is a lie.” Changbin says, closing his eyes, like he’s trying to pretend Hyunjin isn’t actually here. “‘Sides, I’d never willingly date the embodiment of Stacy’s Mom.”

“It’s a great song.” protests Hyunjin. “Weren’t you the one who recommended it to me?”

“I never denied that.” the older mutters. “I’m just stating what I heard.”

“Do you believe it?” Hyunjin asks, resting his head on his arm, gazing at him. Changbin knows what Hyunjin’s referring to.

“I don’t know.” he says. “Should I?”

It’s a bit like bait, really, to get him to talk, Changbin subtly showing that he’s willing to listen to what Hyunjin has to say if he’s willing to say it. That he’s curious, but not all that interested. Trying to know about Hyunjin’s pastimes and life isn’t something he actively does anymore.

“The pick-up line was a dare, not an attempt to flirt with my Bio teacher.” Hyunjin explains. “She’s married, for one, and she looks exactly like my aunt.” He tilts his head. “It was a dare, and you know me.”

Changbin makes a half-smile that he doesn’t particularly direct at anything. “Regretfully.”

“I mean, it was worth it, in the end, despite being sent to the guidance.” continues Hyunjin. “This really cute boy in my class said he thought it was charming.”

The satisfied look on Hyunjin’s face is why Changbin kicks him again. “You dog.” Hyunjin practically cackles. “Wasn’t this just last week?”  

“I’m just making the most out of every opportunity I get. It’s high school.” he reasons. “Anyways, when I asked him out after, he declined. So I needed something to help nurse my heartbreak over the rejection.”

“Sure, whatever.” scoffs Changbin. “Don’t blame me if your balls are chopped off at the end of the year.”

“At least I could say that they never shrivelled up from the lack of attention.” Hyunjin replies. “Unlike some people I know.”

“Ha ha.” Changbin says. The school bell suddenly chimes, signalling that they have five more minutes to wrap up everything they’re doing before heading to their next class. “Don’t you have a class to get to?”

“Don’t you?” Hyunjin shoots back.

Changbin shrugs. “I can afford to be late.”

“I’m tempted to just ditch the rest of the day.” Hyunjin admits. “But it might be a bit too late to do that since the teachers should be out of the faculty rooms by now.” He pauses, waiting for the next bell to chime and tell them that they don’t have any more time. It doesn’t come, but Hyunjin stands up anyway. “Guess I better go.”

“Right.” Changbin says, with a tinge of sudden bitterness in his tongue. He pretends like it isn’t there. “Please do.”

Hyunjin pouts. “Rude.” But Changbin just flips in off in reply, not looking at the other any longer. He hears the younger laugh to himself, before walking away and disappearing from Changbin’s sight.

Finally gone, Changbin starts packing his things. When he gets up and makes a move to push the chairs back, he’s greeted by Jeongin, standing by his side and giving him an unreadable look. Changbin startles.

“How long have you been here?” he asks.

“Long enough.” Jeongin answers, and isn’t that cryptic. Changbin chooses not to dwell on it much.

“How kind of you to show up.” he comments. “The thought was more than appreciated.”

“Sorry.” says Jeongin, about how he only came now. “I ran into the school dentist.”

Changbin raises an eyebrow. “And?”

“She’s still asking when I’m going to get my braces removed.”

Changbin snorts. “So she can prod them to her heart’s content?”

Jeongin just hums an affirmative, and helps Changbin push back the chair. “I didn’t know you and Hwang Hyunjin were friends.”

Changbin stops. Then, “We’re not friends.” and the statement sounds . . . strange, but not one he considers internally refuting. “Are you?”

“Of course.” Jeongin says easily. “Everyone’s friends with Hyunjin.”

Changbin doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he doesn’t.

➸

**_OCTOBER 15, POST-MIDTERMS; WEEK 1_ **

But back to the present.

Over lunch, Changbin finds Hyunjin sitting alone in one of the campus gardens, seated on the bench and appearing to do his homework. Changbin is grateful that Felix is too busy to hang out with him today. He doesn’t think he can talk to him when he still has this to deal with.

The first thing he does when he reaches the younger is take out one of his books to thump the back of Hyunjin’s head. He doesn’t do it hard, but when Hyujin groans like it hurts, there’s a part in Changbin’s brain that starts panicking because it suddenly feels like that was the wrong move to call. Hyunjin isn’t Felix; he isn’t going to scowl and then get over it.

“Ow.” Hyunjin whimpers. He glares at Changbin as the latter sits down. Never mind. It’s not as bad as he thought. “What was that for?”

“So, so many things.” Changbin says. Then, he picks up where they left off. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve heard of. And I have a friend who’s stupid when sober.”

“Look,” Hyunjin sighs. “If you can think of anything better, feel free to tell me.”

“How far did this shit spread? Who even took the damn picture?”

“Don’t know. Seungmin sent it to me a few days ago, but said it’s been going around for a while.” Hyunjin explains.

“How come you’re only hearing about this _now_?”

“How come _you’re_ only hearing about it now?”

Changbin crosses his arms. “I’m not exactly part of the ‘it’ crowd, lover boy.”

“Well, everyone’s been keeping it pretty lowkey, according to my sources.”

“No one’s ever approached me about it.”

“Me neither. No one really acted any different around me, and I probably wouldn’t have noticed if not for my lack of success in the love department.” he says. “It wasn’t scandalous enough for it to reach everyone immediately, but it was something interesting to know.”

Ah yes, because the student body is so depraved of action that it’s such an important thing to know whether or not one of their senior bachelors is single. “You just said it looked like you gave me a blowjob. How is that not scandalous?”

Hyunjin shrugs. “That’s probably where the boyfriend thing comes in. I’m not the type who would do that sort of thing so boldly with anyone so out in the open.”

“So it _totally_ isn’t scandalous as long as the people who are nearly having sex in public are dating.”

“Look,” Hyunjin says. “I don’t control people’s sense of logic; they do that themselves. If to them it’s sort of acceptable as long as they’re together, then we should ride with it. I don’t wanna be branded a whore, and neither do you, I’m guessing. Not that there’s anything wrong with whores.” Hyunjin adds. “But, you know, if you’re going to participate in acts of prostitution, then at least, one, be willing, and second, be legal.”

“Please get back to the point.” Changbin bites out, because that’s the last thing he wants to talk about in the moment.

“As I was saying,” Hyunijn continues. “If people went with the assumption that we’re actually secretly boyfriends, which they _did_ , then obviously the picture kind of makes sense.”

“Except it doesn’t, because we aren’t.” Changbin pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why don’t you just tell them the truth so they can let it go?”

“Well, so far, everyone who thinks we’re dating doesn’t listen to me when I tell them we aren’t. You know what they say? They tell me stuff like, ‘oh, it’s okay. You don’t have to hide it. It’s chill; you two aren’t the only gay couple in school anyway.’” Hyunjin imitates. “They think I’m just embarrassed. Or hiding it. I mean, they did find us in a place in the library that’s kind of hidden from plain sight. Like we didn’t wanna be spotted. Isn’t it natural for them to come up with that kind of idea?”

Changbin doesn’t reply, because he doesn’t really want to admit that Hyunjin’s got a point.

Hyunjin continues. “They don’t want to believe me; they’re already stuck on their assumed truths. Also, this is like, _tea_ to them. Bad boy Seo Changbin gaying out enough to date popular boy Hwang Hyunjin.”

Changbin blinks. “Literally nobody thinks that.” he says. “What if I tell them? I think they’d believe me.”

“No, they won’t. If they don’t believe me, what more you?”

“You’re more of a flirt than I am. Technically, you have a reputation.”  

Hyunjin frowns. “You know that’s not true.”

Changbin waves a hand. “Doesn’t matter what I know, but what they know.”

“Then they wouldn’t trust you.” counters Hyunjin. “You’ve got a reputation too, ever since you led the student body to protest against our strict dress codes back in freshman year. You get too overly passionate about things, especially when you’re against something.”

“Don’t deny that you didn’t benefit from that protest.”

“I never said I didn’t.” Hyunjin grins, like the memory of him wearing heels for the day pleases him. Then again, he did do it to prove a girl wrong that all boys are too attached to their masculinity to try on something definitively feminine. It’s a nice memory, that protest, the stand they made, but then it also became the reason why their school brought back the official uniforms. You can’t win all battles. “But you get all red and huffy and stutter when you’re annoyed and trying to make a point.” How the hell does Hyunjin know that? How would he know that in the first place? “No one believes people like that; heck, they wouldn’t even take you seriously. Denying it is a no-go, no matter how true. It won’t work. ‘Sides, people are very invested in our love life.”

“More like yours. But okay.” Changbin grumbles. “I still don’t think fake dating is the solution.”

“You didn’t even get to hear the entire plan.”

“Fine.” He says. “What’s the plan?”

“We fake date, fake break up, and then everyone will let it go.”

The thing is, Hyunjin looks like he thinks this is the greatest idea of mankind. The genuinely sincerity and confidence he has in this is actually charming, but Changbin would rather stab himself in the eyes before admitting that.

Especially because it still sounds fucking ridiculous.

“The more you talk, the stupider you sound.” Changbin tells him. Hyunjin throws his highlighter at him in response, which the older easily dodges. It falls to the ground. “Why don’t you fake date someone else and tell everyone that you’re dating them instead of me? Like Seungmin or something. He likes you enough to do this.”

“Now you’re the one being stupid.” Hyunjin says. Changbin gives him a dirty look. “Getting a third party involved will only cause more drama. I don’t need any more rumors hanging over me that I’m a two-timer. _Again._ And that I’m two-timing _you_ , of all people, if not just messing around. Plus, I’d feel bad for dragging him into this.”

“And you don’t feel bad that you’re making me go through this?” Changbin demands. “We’re only having this problem because everyone’s so fucking attracted to everything about you.”

“And yet here you stand, strangely unaffected.” Hyunjin lightly replies. “You’re as much as a part of this as I am. Not everything is entirely my fault.”

Changbin stares at him for a few seconds, watching as Hyunjin straightens his posture in determination from his words and the indignation in his eyes. There’s a pang of guilt the older suddenly feels, because he realizes how judgemental and harsh his own words have sounded so far.

“Sorry.” he eventually says, because he’s not a total dick to be above apologizing, even if sounding like a total jackass does come a bit more often than he wants it to.

Hyunjin smiles slightly, like he’s faintly amused by the other’s response. At least it means he doesn’t have any feelings of resentment towards the elder’s words. “This benefits you the same way it benefits me.” he tells him, returning to the main topic. Changbin gives him a look.  “We date, and then we break up, and then we’re free and single to do whatever we want. People can finally say yes when I ask them out. You can go back to moping about your lack of a love life. Or life, in general.”

Changbin ignores the jibe. “Can’t we just break up now, without the dating? Everyone already thinks we are anyway, and we aren’t even doing anything.”

“That’d be too easy. Too suspicious. Why would we break up right after I find out about the rumors? They’d think we’re faking the break up. Or that it’s their fault we did break up. It might just make things worse.”

It’s not like Hyunjin’s arguments don’t have any logic to them, but Changbin thinks all his guesses aren’t as accurate as he claims them to be. But Changbin _also_ knows Hyunjin is stubborn about things he believes are great ideas, and he’s clearly stuck on this possibility of them fake dating to get past the rumors, make them a brief reality, and then ending it.

Frankly, he thinks this is a terrible idea. But he also can’t think of any better ones. How much can you do when you’re hands are this tied down?

“I hate how we have to care so much about what other people think.” is all Changbin says.

This time, the smile Hyunjin gives him is strained. Maybe a bit regretful, more so done out of reassurance.

“I’ll pay you.” offers Hyunjin instead, a measly last attempt at convincing Changbin.

Changbin scoffs at that. “I’m richer than you.”

Hyunjin pouts. “There’s nothing wrong with a little more money. Isn’t that what capitalists always think?”

Changbin punches Hyunjin in the shoulder at his remark, but the latter just grins, like he wanted him to do it. Their situation _could_ be worse, Changbin’s has to admit, because how often do you come across a NSFW picture of two students in public? He’s still surprised the student body’s reception to the whole thing isn’t disturbed to the point of reporting or making rumors out of it, and instead, just being quietly supportive.

It’s still bad though, but at least the main focus of the entire ordeal was the secret relationship that isn’t actually legitimate rather than the act that didn’t actually happen. Changbin isn’t about to question their way of thinking. Pick your poison; this is undeniably much better than the alternative. Not that it isn’t like these things are entirely new to the student body in the first place. They’re teenagers; a sense of discipline and responsibility can only stretch so far.

As much as he’d hate to, he has to agree with Hyunijn. Better to just roll with it than make a bigger problem from it. “How are we gonna fake date anyway?”

“We’ll figure that out as we go by.”

“Winging it is not the answer I was hoping to hear.”

“Do you _want_ to plan it?” asks Hyunjin, giving him a knowing look.

“. . . I don’t want this to be too serious.” Changbin reluctantly admits. And talking about it more means that he’s taking it seriously, that it’s a sort of a big deal. And he doesn’t want it to be. There’s a part of him that hopes that undermining the issue will make it less of an issue to begin with, even if a larger part of his brain is telling him all the ways that kind of mindset can bite him back in the ass.

“Then there’s your answer.” Hyunjin nods. “So, what do you say?”

“Fuck you, is what I say.” Changbin replies automatically, sighing in defeat.

“Trust me.” says Hyunjin. “I know what I’m doing.”

“That’s exactly why I’m worried.”

Hyunjin simply grins at him, completely at ease and now unconcerned, and Changbin can’t help but hope that the other’s right.

➸

**_OCTOBER 22, POST-MIDTERMS; WEEK 2_ **

It’s not that Changbin forgets about the whole fake dating deal he and Hyunjin have set up for themselves.

But Hyunjin said he’d handle it, knew what he was doing, and while his plan was, for lack of a better term, shoddy at best, Changbin had half a brain cell to trust the other’s word, because Hyunjin wasn’t _that_ much of a shithead, and maybe a quarter of it to reassure himself that he could always just murder the guy things went downhill from there.

So, predictably, assuming that it was sort of taken care of and put in not so trustworthy but technically capable hands, he somewhat forgot about it. Or more of, pushed it aside in his mind as something that wasn’t something he should worry about.  

But after last period ends, and Changbin makes his way to his locker to get what he needs and leave behind what he doesn’t, only to see Hyunjin leaning on the locker door beside his, the older realizes that this ordeal is something he should be worried about, _because_ it’s going to be taken care of Hwang Hyunjin.

Changbin doesn’t even make it to his locker, instead halting in his steps halfway in the hall and saying, partly to himself, but mostly to Hyunjin, just because spiting the younger is one of the reasons why he can find happiness in his life, “On second thought, maybe I don’t need anything.”

He only gets to turn around and take two steps forward before Hyunjin grabs his shoulder, stopping him from moving any further. “Whoa whoa, slow down, bad boy.” he says. “Took you long enough. Where are you going?”

“Far, far away from you.” Changbin answers. Then he sighs. “Why are you still here?”

“Can’t I just be?” Hyunjin asks. “I’m walking you home.”

Changbin raises an eyebrow. “Like hell you are.” he tells him. But Hyunjin still hasn’t let him go.

“C’mon,” Hyunjin insists, before swiftly taking the books from Changbin’s arms to carry himself. “Let’s go.”

“What—”  

“This is part of it.” the younger whispers, voice hushed now, like he only wants Changbin to hear it. There are students around them, some minding their own business, some watching the two of them. “This is part of the deal.”

Changbin frowns, but ultimately huffs in reluctant acceptance. “Be great if you can actually clarify what’s part of the deal and what isn’t in the first place.” he grumbles, but follows Hyunjin as they make their way out the doors.

It doesn’t take much for him to notice the not so subtle stares they get as they exit, but Changbin pretends like he’s just playing into his paranoia instead of actual reality and that they aren’t really there.

And it helps, sorta, that Hyunjin acts so unperturbed, like no one’s looking. Changbin wonders how he does it.

Changbin doesn’t look — not even once, he swears — but he can feel the weight of the stares dissipate as they move further away. They’re gone completely, when they already make a turn to another street, and he feels completely reassured that they’re safe after one more, walking a block or two before they know they’re someplace where no student can find them unless they also lived by the area, and judging from the lack of teenagers wearing the school uniform around them, it’s unlikely. Changbin relaxes, and so does Hyunjin.

Who then leads him off-course to the direction of Changbin’s apartment, going two more streets farther than the route they were on earlier. When they reach a street that Changbin isn’t familiar with, unfamiliar stores to his eyes even though he’s lived in this town his whole life, Hyunjin promptly drops all of Changbin’s books on the ground like the absolute careless asshole he is as he lies down on his back beside them.  

“Fucker.” Changbin hisses, before bending down to pick them up. None of them are damaged, because the only schoolbooks Changbin buys are the hardbound ones, but there’s some gravel and dust clinging to them because of the dirty surface they landed on, so he wipes them clean by shamelessly brushing them against Hyunjin’s slacks. The latter doesn’t bat an eyelash.

“Those things were heavy.” Hyunjin just complains, stretching his arms. “Did you really need all those?”

“No.” Changbin says. “I was planning on leaving them behind in my locker until a certain someone stopped me.”

“Hey, you stopped yourself all on your own.” Hyunjin points out. “Not that it was all bad, even though my arms are cramping like hell.”

“You’re awfully weak for an athlete.”

“Your books are like boulders. Even I don’t own that much textbooks.”

Changbin rolls his eyes. “It’s a wonder that you still pass.”

“Totally worth it though, still.”

“Yeah?”

“People were looking, weren’t they?” Hyunjin inquires. “And we were being a bit more showy than usual.”

“Than usual.” Changbin parrots disdainfully. “Like there was ever a usual in the first place.”

“You know what I mean.” Hyunjin waves a dismissive hand, even though Changbin doesn’t, really. The younger doesn’t bother to explain, just sighs. He doesn’t stand back up, or look like he has any intention of doing so, even if Changbin highly doubts that the street surface is as comfortable as Hyunjin makes it appear to be. “I always wanted to do this.”

Changbin frowns at him. “Wait to get run over?”

“No. This street is mostly deserted.” he says. _Mostly_. Then again, Changbin doesn’t even see any cars pulled at the side. Or people. They live in a small area, but it’s rare for there to be places like these, empty of any sign of life. “Pull The Notebook, I mean.”

“Pull the what?”

“Lying down in the middle of the street? Watching the stoplights change? ‘What happens if a car comes? We die’?” Hyunjin opens his eyes and catches Changbin’s puzzled expression, and then his own face shifts into one of absolute horror. “You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you.”

“Nope.”

Abruptly, Hyunjin sits up. “Okay, you better clear your schedule for the rest of the day.”

“Why?” Changbin asks, as Hyunjin stands, eyeing the younger warily as he follows suit. “Please tell me you aren’t actually planning on walking me back to my place.”

“Of course I’m not.” Hyunjin says. “I’m not just walking back to your place. I’m staying over.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Sorry. You’re already so far away; I can’t hear you.” mocks Hyunjin, already walking ahead. Changbin pulls another face, but eventually, once more, reluctantly follows the other.

He doesn’t mention how Hyunjin knows exactly how to get to Changbin’s apartment complex without hesitation or any asking, or even at the fact that he knows exactly which floor and which unit the other stays at. It’s not like he doesn’t know why, but confirming the thought causes something strange to settle down in his stomach, and he doesn’t really feel like acknowledging it at the moment. Or ever.

When they get there, Hyunjin immediately runs inside and pounces on the couch by the living room before sinking into the mattress. At least he bothered to remove his shoes before entering, even if they’re haphazardly thrown to the welcome rug. “Ah, I miss this place.” Hyunjin murmurs, and Changbin almost doesn’t catch it.

Changbin takes off his footwear by the doorstep. “You are not staying here.”

“Yes, I am. No way I’m leaving until we watch The Notebook.” Hyunjin says indignantly.

“Is that a horror movie?” asks Changbin, making his way to his bedroom to dump his stuff there.

“Oh, god no.” Hyunjin sounds offended. “It’s a romance movie.”

“Oh, god no.” Changbin mocks, undoing his uniform a bit to make it more comfortable and looser before emerging from his room. “No thanks.”

“Too bad.” replies Hyunjin, who’s got Changbin’s laptop on his lap and is already typing away. The sight looks strange, almost exactly like a memory in Changbin’s head from long ago, but with the scene aging even though the variables remain more or less the same in position and action.

He silently sits down beside him, watches as Hyunjin’s stumped on having to type in the password. But then it’s only for a moment, because Hyunjin’s fingers then fly off the keyboard, and he manages to log into Changbin’s account.  

“Do I even wanna know,” Changbin remarks, tasting something sour in his mouth.

Hyunjin just shrugs, eyes still glued to the screen as he opens the internet tab. “It’s the same password as last time.”

“You still remember that?”

“SpearB1999 isn’t exactly a hard password to remember.” He says. Maybe, Changbin thinks to himself, but how much irrelevant stuff like other people’s passwords from around five or more years ago can someone remember? “In any case, you’re in dire need of proper education on good movies. How are you still alive?”

“Hey, I watch good movies.” Changbin defends. “I have a file of Kill Bill in my movies folder.”

“And Fight Club, Captain America, 300, RoboCop etcetera.” Hyunjin lists off, mildly disinterested, reading from the titles of the files in the movie folder he opened. “None of which I’ve watched but am fully aware are likely just gratuitous violence. But,” he reopens the internet tab to see that it’s still playing porn ads. “No Notting Hill, 10 Things I Hate About You, What’s Your Number, and The Notebook either.” He looks at the screen in distaste.

“I have no idea what any of those things you said are.”

“Not even What’s Your Number? And to think you like Captain America.” Hyunjin shakes his head, disappointed. “You really are something, you know. Is your life really just centered on action movies and violent video games?”

“Shut up.” He says, side-eyeing the stack of video game cases below the TV in front of them, as Hyunjin reaches down to his pocket to fish out an USB before plugging it in. Changbin won’t bother wasting his breath pointing out that Hyunjin used to play Tekken 6 with him, even if he wants to. “What are you doing?”

“Your laptop’s on the way to getting fucked from viruses; it doesn’t take a genius to see that. I don’t wanna make things any worse.” Hyunjin says. “Have you seen the amount of porn ads we came across in the span of five minutes? It’s like the network _knows_ what you do in your free time.”

Changbin crosses his arms. “You do realize that it’s your fault why my laptop’s full of that.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Hyunjin innocently says, as if he didn’t steal Changbin’s laptop the first year he had it trying to discover all the things their parents told them they were too young to know about. Or, well, Hyunjin’s parents. Changbin’s parents either seem to trust Changbin with knowing better, or don’t care enough. “Anyway, lucky for you, I have all those movies I just said downloaded in this USB here. So,” Hyunjin turns to Changbin. “We’re doing a movie marathon. Love-themed.”

“No, we’re not.”

“C’mon,” Hyunjin urges. “When’s the last time you ever watched one? What was the last one you even watched?”

“Uh,” The thing is, it takes Changbin a while to think about it. “Shrek?”

“That’s not— actually, yeah. That can be considered.” Hyunjin relents. “Okay, but just so you know, since you already watched the best romcom of all time, don’t expect all the ones we’re gonna watch to be just as great. Lower your standards a bit.”

Changbin thinks his standards in itself are plenty fine, and none of them have any tolerance for something like _romance_. “It’s an animated fantasy comedy film, Hyunjin. It’s not a _romcom;_ it’s not the same.”

“Of course it’s not the same. It’s _Shrek_. It tops everything.”

Changbin stares at him, wondering if he’s serious. Hyunjin’s expression gives away nothing. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Hyunjin shrugs. “I could tell you all about Shrek’s duality of mocking clichés and using them at the same time, but I’d rather spend that time on watching The Notebook.”

“This is a waste of time.” Changbin says instead, but Hyunjin clicks on The Notebook file anyway. “We need to establish rules and boundaries for our,” he hesitates, because didn’t he just tell Hyunjin a week ago that this was exactly what he didn’t want to do? Screw it. He had less functioning brain cells at the time. “Arrangement.”

“Fine.” Hyunjin agrees dismissively. “But after we watch The Notebook.”

Fuck Hyunjin and his stubborn ass. Changbin feels like this is going to be a reoccurring theme between them the more time they spend together. It doesn’t feel exactly new, but it is something he hasn’t needed to get used to in a while.

“You’re the worst.” He tells him, and it’s as much as an admittance of defeat as he’s going to give. Hyunjin makes a satisfied hum as he enlarges the film to fit the screen before setting it on the coffee table in front of them, and Changbin reclines into the couch, settling himself into his fate, because he might as well be comfortable if he’s going to let himself go through this. This entire scene feels familiar — lounging in the living room, about to watch a movie — Changbin _knows_ it’s familiar, and he tries to squash the dread that comes along with that realization.

When Hyunjin abruptly stands up, telling Changbin that he’s going to get some junk food from the pantry that they can eat as they watch, Changbin tries not to think that _of course_ Hyunjin also still remembers where the goddamn pantry is in Changbin’s apartment. Hyunjin’s always been full of surprises.

That, or there are some things that just haven’t changed. Changbin doesn’t know.  

➸

“How was it?” asks Hyunjin, when the ending credits of The Notebook move up the screen.

“It was terrible.” Changbin answers. He’s bundled up in a blanket, because it got cold and Hyunjin didn’t want to turn off the air conditioning, except at some point the younger tugged the blanket away from him because he wanted to share in the warmth.

Hyunjin’s mouth curls up. “I saw you cry in the rain scene.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“I didn’t, and shut up.” Changbin says, getting a pillow from the pillow fort Hyunjin managed to grow since the movie begun and hitting him with it.

Hyunjin is still grinning, effectively blocking the attack with his hand. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“God, no. And shut up.” he snaps. He pushes the blanket away to get up and grabs the empty bowl. “I’m gonna make some popcorn.”

Hyunjin hums. “What did you think about Ryan Gosling?”

Hyunjin doesn’t see him, but he pauses from the kitchen, midway through opening the microwave. “He’s hot.” Changbin admits.

“ _Right?_ ” Hyunjin says gleefully. Changbin can’t help but smile a little, still grateful that he’s out of Hyunjin’s sight. The younger makes a loud, dreamy sigh. “Wish I could have a summer love affair with someone like Noah Calhoun.”

“I’m sure there are plenty of poor boys to indulge in your romantic fantasies somewhere.” Changbin says. “Unfortunately, this isn’t the place to find them. Or JYP High.”

“You’re right.” Hyunjin agrees. “Maybe I should travel the world? I kinda always wanted to do that. I’ve only been to the U.S.A. before.”

“We should switch. Not that the U.S.A. is that great, outside of the fact that lots of the movies I watch are set there. It’s kind of surreal, being there, like in New York.”

“I forgot that you and your family travel a shit ton.” Hyunjin says. “Must be nice being rich.”

Changbin watches the popcorn bag slowly expand as the seconds tick by on the digital clock of the microwave. “It’s how you spend. All the money that could’ve went to a perfectly nice and big house went to yearly out-of-town outings.”

“That does explain why you still live here in an apartment. The vibe of this place— it’s different from before. It’s like rarely anybody comes here. ‘Sides you, of course. Which works fine by me, for now, because we won’t be interrupted.”

 _For now_. Hyunjin says. What the fuck does that mean? Changbin takes out the popcorn bag and gets the bowl. When he comes back with the food, the laptop is now on Hyunjin’s lap, the movie tab gone, replaced by a word file Changbin can’t properly identify from the distance he’s at. He tenses before realizing that he doesn’t have anything particularly important in there besides movies and school files.

“This is an opinion piece about the misconception of rock music being satanic.” Hyunjin says, eyes still glued to the screen, clearly reading through the content.

“Oh.” Changbin shrugs. He sets the bowl down and takes a seat beside Hyunjin. “Wrote that last summer.” And he hasn’t opened it since. He all but forgot about it, actually.

“Did you share this anywhere?”

“No.”

Hyunjin looks at him like he’s lost his mind. “You should.”

Changbin snorts. “No thanks.”

“I’m serious. This is actually good, and I don’t know _shit_ about rock, okay, so this really is something.” Hyunjin says. “You know, 3rd Eye accepts submissions like these, and they even post it on their website if they’re good.”

3rd Eye, the school newspaper. No wonder Hyunjin knows what an opinion piece is. They don’t teach that shit in class. “You need connections to get published, you know.”

“Connections _and_ talent. I can put in a good word for you.”

“You?”

“Of course.” Hyunjin says, like it’s obvious. Right. Hyunjin’s probably friends with the chief editor — Woojin, Changbin thinks his name is. “I can contact them if you want. Just submit it to them. I’ll even give you their email.”

Changbin shakes his head. “It’s not a big deal, dude. There’s a reason I didn’t send or post that thing anywhere.”

“And that reason is?”

Changbin shrugs again. “It’s just my take on something. Nothing important.”

“Freshman Changbin would’ve kicked your ass for that and made a speech about the importance of standing up for what’s right.”

“Yeah, well, for one, freshman Changbin just entered high school and didn’t know how to keep his own mouth shut, so he just drew unnecessary attention to himself. Secondly, it’s just my opinion on _rock_ music. It’s not that deep, lover boy. Don’t get your panties all up in a twist.”

Hyunjin’s still frowning, the look on his face almost pitying. It makes Changbin’s skin crawl, because why is he looking at him like that? He doesn’t need pity; there’s no use or need for it here.

“Look,” Changbin says. “Can we just talk about something else?”

“Fine.” Hyunjin closes the file. “Do you prefer another romantic drama or some romcom action?”

“We’re watching _another_ movie?”

“Well,” the younger starts. “We can go back to talking about—”

“Fine. Whatever.” Changbin makes a face. “Play something happy.”

“Is it because you ran out of tears from crying because of the last one?”

Changbin wants to flip him off. Instead, when he gets up because he forgot to put flavoring on the popcorn, he makes sure to use sour cream, because he knows Hyunjin hates the taste.

Halfway through the second movie — it’s What’s Your Number, and Changbin has to admit that the lack of shame of Chris Evan’s character is ridiculously attractive — he feels bad at the faces Hyunjin makes whenever he unconsciously grabs a handful of popcorn and eats it. Quietly, he slips back into the kitchen, makes a new batch with the barbeque powder he knows Hyunjin loves, and gives it to him.

Changbin tries not to think about how no one in the family even _likes_ barbeque, and yet they still buy it, every time they’re at the grocery, like there’s someone there to eat it.

“This is good.” Hyunjin comments, referring to the popcorn.

“That’s why I buy it.” Changbin replies, refraining from admitting that Hyunjin’s the real reason.

 _God_ , he realizes, upon feeling the familiar pang in his chest, only stronger than it’s ever been for the past years. _Hyunjin being here was a bad idea._


	2. You Only Live Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sounds to me like you two were friends before.” Felix remarks. Changbin doesn’t reply. “How come you stopped?”
> 
> Changbin takes a bite of his pizza. “Because he was a dick.”
> 
> “Why do you still talk to him then?”
> 
> It’s hard not to, because Hyunjin has always been impossible to just completely ignore, even more so when he’s trying to get your attention, no matter how infrequently that may happen. 
> 
> But of course, Changbin doesn’t say any of that. “Because he’s a dick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i forget to update this? sort of. but hey, at least this is like, what, 11k long. updates of this fic will /probably/ be monthly, heads up, but each chapter's definitely going to be around the range of the last two chapters so far. just pray that i have enough time to sit down and just write the rest of the fic since all the content i have so far for future events of this au are spread out in different chapters (absolutely do not recommend this method. seriously).
> 
> the songs that appear at the start of each chapter are basically all part of the "official" soundtrack for this fic, aka where i drew inspo from or listened to while writing. all chapter titles are from the strokes song, which are there . . . just for fun, actually.

**_CH. 02: YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE_ **

_➸_

 

 

> _“And now, nothing’s gonna turn us down_  
>  _You can’t sit there and look scared_  
>  _When everything’s happening now_  
>  _Come on, nothing’s gonna turn us down_  
>  _So don’t stand there like you don’t care_  
>  _‘Cause heaven’s gonna happen now”_  
>  _  
> __—_ Heaven’s Gonna Happen Now by The Pains of Being Pure At Heart

_➸_

**_OCTOBER 22, SECOND HALF OF THE SEMESTER; WEEK 2_ **

“If memory serves,” Hyunjin begins. “It was you who said you didn’t want to plan out the mechanics of this because you didn’t want this to be ‘too serious’ in the first place.”

“People change.” Changbin answers dismissively, much more focused on his laptop screen and the black document he pulled up.

Hyunjin leans to the side and frowns at the screen. “Can’t we do this on pen and paper? That’s how most romcoms do it.”

“Exactly why we aren’t.” Changbin says. “And unlike whatever time period all those movies were set in, we live in a more technologically advanced society.”

Hyunjin studies for a minute. “I should make you watch Her.”  He eventually says.

“Now that _really_ sounds like a horror movie.”

Neither of them speaks as Changbin types in the title of the file in a larger font. It looks almost a bit comical, staring at the _Changbin and Hyunjin’s Fake Dating Deal_ he put down in bold, but then again, Changbin had just sat through three romance movies without a break. He swears it isn’t his fault if things in real life start appearing like they’re from fictional and idealized films about love.

“So,” Changbin starts, when he makes the first bullet point.

“How was carrying your book and walking you home?” suggests Hyunjin. “Kinda thought it’d be great to start it off with going into boyfriend territory right off the bat.”

“So is dumping them halfway when we’re completely out of sight, I bet.” Changbin grumbles, but he types it in anyway. “And crashing at my place.”

“As much I’d love to be here, I promise it won’t be a daily thing. The book carrying, walking you home, _and_ staying here.” Hyunjin says. “I’ll do it randomly, pop up out of nowhere to surprise you.”

“Right. Because I _love_ surprises.” Changbin deadpans.

Hyunjin hums. “At least you’ll know they’d only be between two days. Afterschool training resumes in two weeks. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.”

“I know your schedule.” he mutters, missing how Hyunjin’s eyes brighten at his words. 

“Speaking of which,” the younger chirps. “You should come.”

“What?”

“Attend one of my training days. Just to watch. Not participate, obviously.” Hyunjin quickly clarifies, upon seeing the nearly horrified look on Changbin’s face.

“Why should I?”

“Because as far as the world’s now concerned, you’re my boyfriend.” Hyunjin answers, wrapping an arm around Changbin’s waist. The latter squirms. “Romance and all its gestures is a two-way street, just saying. And you being there is definitely going to boost my morale.”

“You need that more for games than practice.” Changbin notes. “And I go to your games.”

“ _Everyone_ attends our games. That’s nothing special.” Hyunjin bristles. “Practice though . . . who in their right mind would waste their time watching a couple of boys run around the field with a ball in the afternoon heat besides their significant other's?”

“Who in their right mind indeed.” Changbin dryly muses, thinking about all the girls (and some boys, though they’re a lot subtler than that) who _do_ exactly that. But Changbin puts that part down anyway, which is as good as an agreement that he’s going to grant Hyunjin, albeit unsaid.

“I’m going to be doing this to you a lot.” Hyunjin says, about how he’s still clinging onto Changbin. The latter silently types it down. _Excessive and unnecessary clinging_. Hyunjin doesn’t bat an eye at the other’s phrasing. “And that you should reciprocate.”

“It’s already taking all my might not to strangle you right now.” Changbin tells him flatly. “Baby steps. Don’t push me.”

“Fine.” Hyunjin pouts. “But we hold hands, waist, hug, snuggle, and cuddle.”

Changbin doesn’t even know the difference between the last two. “Who cuddles in public?”

“I do.”

“Great.” Reluctantly, Changbin puts up a parenthesis and adds all those specifications Hyunjin said beside the bullet all about physical affection. His stomach coils uncomfortably. Why is he doing this? _Why?_ “I know this entire thing is really a sham, but we still need to make this as realistic as possible. Meaning that even if we’re dating, we still have time for our own lives.”

“I know that.” replies Hyunjin, waving a hand. “Though I have no idea why you still want that, considering you barely have a life as it is, and this is probably the most exciting thing you’re ever going to experience in high school.” Changbin doesn’t blink at the jab, far long used to getting it from literally everyone else. “But let’s do lunch dates.”

Changbin’s eyebrow twitches. “Where I’ll have to spend more time with your ass? No thank you.”

“ _C’mon_ , we need to be obvious about spending time together. We aren’t in the closet anymore.” Hyunjin pauses. “Well, not _that_ much in the closet anymore. So we need this.” Changbin takes a deep breath, seeing the logic in Hyunjin’s reasoning, though it doesn’t change how much he isn’t keen on it. “How do you feel about Tuesdays and Fridays lunch dates?”

“I think any day wherein I’ll have to see your face and spend time with you is terrible.” But at least it’s only twice a week. “Are you going to make me eat with your friends?”

“Not if you don’t want to, though I’d be happy if you do.” Good thing he doesn’t care about Hyunjin’s happiness, Changbin thinks to himself. Still, he can’t help but imagine Hyunjin’s delighted face if Changbin actually did go and get to know his friends and spend time with them, and realizes how real that entire scenario would be. Hyunjin’s that kind of person, after all, the kind who likes it when his friends get to know his other friends. It’s a sweet thought, and it’s sweeter because it’s actually true. “Same goes for me with your friends. There’s no harm in getting to know the people who make Changbin happy.”

“Of course there’s no harm done to you.” Changbin says, slightly shoving him. “You’re a people-person.” Not that there are a lot of people in the first place. The only person Changbin eats with is Felix.

“And we can still pop up in each other’s lives every now and then unplanned. Surprise visits and all.” Hyunjin adds. “Anything more you wanna pitch in?”

“No kissing.”

Hyunjin looks at him in puzzlement. “How are people going to think we’re together if we can’t kiss?”

“We’re already holding hands.” Changbin points out.

“Two boys holding hands don’t mean they’re together. Fragile masculinity isn’t as prominent as it was a decade ago. Or five years ago. We live in more progressive times; doing something as vanilla as holding hands in public isn’t going to mean a thing.”

“Give it a few years, and people will say the exact same shit as kissing.” Changbin shakes his head in near disdain. Sometimes he thinks progressiveness gets ridiculous sometimes. “I am still not kissing you.”

Hyunjin pouts. Changbin doesn’t know if that’s supposed to make him look kissable or not, because Hyunjin's supposedly known for his pouty lips, and he doesn’t know enough about romance to know if it’s working on him or not. All he knows is that it makes him want to do something violent, like punch the younger in the face. “How about I kiss you?”

Changbin makes a face. “That’s even worse.”

“No one’s gonna believe us if we don’t even do a little of it.”

Changbin hesitates. He wonders if he can back out of the entire thing now; this is way too much work, way too complicated. “Fine. But not on the lips. Never on the lips.”

“Why not? Because you’ve never kissed anyone before?”

“Because your breath stinks.” Changbin deadpans, in lieu of giving him an actual answer. Changbin can’t read the look on Hyunjin’s face, but the younger doesn’t say anything as Changbin adds that to the list. “What else?”

“Expect some romantic gestures.” Hyunjin says. “From me. Obviously, because if you get them from anyone else, I will one, laugh my ass off, and two, pull my insanely possessive and jealous boyfriend act.”

“Definitely don’t wanna see that.” Changbin remarks, and he can’t imagine it anyway, Hyunjin being anything but his obnoxious, light-hearted self. “What kind?”

“The kind that are romantic.” Changbin gives him a sour look. “If I tell you, then the surprise on your face wouldn’t be as genuine.”

“I can act.”

“No, you can’t.” argues Hyunjin, rather flippantly. “You kept on moving around during the school Christmas play when we were ten, and you were supposed to be a _tree_.”

Changbin’s eye twitches. “Is it really my fault for being allergic to the prop’s material?”

“I mean, you never said anything, so kind of.” Hyunjin answers. “You’d be surprised at how far a little communication can take you.” 

Changbin gives him a funny look. “That’s ironic, coming from the guy who could’ve avoided the title of World’s Biggest Heartbreaker if he used some of that.”

“Also ironic, coming from the guy who became infamously known as the Bad Boy because of having the exact same issue but with teachers.” Hyunjin retorts. “Or with any adult authoritative figure there is.”

“Keep up with the times. That was three years ago.” Changbin says, before glancing back at the screen. He doesn’t react at how Hyunjin perches his head on his shoulder, pretends like it doesn’t make his chest feel oddly heavy, his head light, with their faces so close to each other. Instead, Changbin stares at the last bullet made, and the anxiety that builds itself in his stomach tells him that he’s going to regret agreeing to this part of their conditions.

Whatever. There’s no rule stating Changbin has to like them, but he knows outright rejecting Hyunjin’s gestures, especially if it was in front of a massive audience, wouldn’t be such a great idea.

“You wanna say something?” Changbin says, after a minute of unexpected silence.

“How did you know?” asks Hyunjin. “You can barely see me from this angle.”

“Thank fuck for that.” he says. Then, “I don’t need to see you to know there’s something on your mind.”

Hyunjin keeps quiet for a moment before saying, “Every two years, we have a big game. It’s to show off for some big company that can be willing to sponsor us and get the school more recognition. Stuff like that.” Changbin hums. “If we win, we get a free overnight stay at a resort.”

“Okay.” Changbin slowly says. “Your point?”

“Every member’s boyfriend or girlfriend comes with them whenever we get good shit like that.” explains Hyunjin. “Which means you should be there too. As my boyfriend.”

“Hell no.”

Hyunjin ignores him. “Fake or not, we still have the image to maintain, and people will definitely suspect if you don’t show up.”

Changbin scrunches his nose up. “Isn’t that game still in January?”

“What’s your point?”

Changbin snorts. “There’s no guarantee we’d still be together by then.”

“But there’s no guarantee we won’t be either.” Hyunjin counters. Changbin purses his lips, uncertain. “C’mon, it’ll be fun. You’ve never been to a resort, right?”

“What’s the point of going there if I’m just gonna stay in the room the whole time?”

“That’s exactly why you should go. Because you won’t. Not with me, anyway.” Hyunjin pokes him. Changbin swats his hand away, managing to do so without pulling them apart completely. “Please?”

He doesn’t like resorts, is the thing. Doesn’t have to be in one to know that. He’s a homebody. He can barely stand the required overnights at school occasionally required of him, and even avoids Felix’s invites to sleepovers unless they’re doing it at his own place. What more a fancy, likely far off place from everything he’s familiar with? And with _Hyunjin_ , of all people, to be there with him?

But then— it would be weird if Changbin wouldn’t go if they won. And _if_ they were still together by then. Which is highly unlikely, because it’s only been around a week or two and Changbin already has at least ten different ways as to how he can kill the younger.

And Hyunjin’s snuggling his head into the crook of Changbin’s neck, unintentionally or not (likely intentionally, because he’s Hwang Hyunjin), and Changbin’s too busy trying not to get tickled to really think straight or properly argue back.

“Fine.” Changbin nearly hisses, still resisting the urge to squirm. “But only if my parents allow me.”

“I’m pretty sure they’ll allow you.” Hyunjin says, pulling back slightly, letting Changbin type in the resort mention on the document. “I bet they’re sick of seeing your Larry the Cucumber face in the house all the time.”

“Whatever, mullet boy. Do we tell anyone?” Changbin asks him. “Pull a first rule of Fight Club?”

“I have no clue as to what you’re talking about, but sure.” Hyunjin says easily. Changbin considers making Hyunjin watch it out of revenge. If Changbin has to sit through six hours of first-world problems and unrequited-love-but-not-really, then Hyunjin shouldn’t mind sitting through two hours of first-world problems and senseless violence. “If you can’t keep it a secret though, like you can’t just bottle it up and need to let someone know, then just one person.”

Not that hard, considering that Changbin technically has only one friend. “And we don’t need to act like a couple around the select people who know.” he supplies. “Because I’m definitely going to need a break from our whole charade at some point.”

“But I’m already doing most of the work.” Hyunjin protests, only for Changbin to respond by pinching his side as he types in the last detail. “Fine. But we should do some grand thing too. Just to make it official and public. We can do this entire relationship thing gradually too, but already starting it out with a bang would make the rest easier for us.”

“Uh-huh.” Changbin says, half-listening. His eyes are starting to hurt from looking at the screen for too long. “How?”

“Leave it to me.” Hyunjin promises.

“I really don’t want to.” He says, because Hyunjin said that exact same thing when they were paired for a school science project and had to talk about a shark in 5th grade, and then Hyunjin proceeded to make a shark head out of papier-mâché for Changbin to wear on presentation day, which was how Changbin got the nickname Sharkboy that stuck for about three months. Hyunjin is not trustworthy in the slightest.

But Changbin doesn’t protest, because the more he thinks about it, the more of a headache it’s going to be. “How long do we need to keep this up?”

Hyunjin taps his chin, thinking. “Until the Valentine’s Dance.”

Changbin nearly chokes on his own spit. “That’s still in the end of February.” The dance was supposed to be on Valentine’s Day itself, but they said they needed more time to prepare. “It’s mid-October now _._ ”

“A week before the end, actually.” Hyunjin corrects.

“Fine. Whatever. That’s four and a quarter months.” That also means he’ll have to go to the resort, should their school win that game. At least there’s Christmas break, but still. That aside, it’s around— “13 weeks of dating?”

“14, technically, not including Christmas break, but the first week was last week.”

Changbin grimaces. “Great. 13 more to go.”

“Just enough time to convince people, isn’t it?” Hyunjin muses. “Breaking it off around a week or two before the dance is perfect timing. We can take people we actually want to bring by then because we won’t be obligated to bring each other anymore.”

“Even though we just freshly broke up?”

“Hey, some folks hop on that train, you know. The ‘I’m available and sad and need to get over my ex’ train.”

Changbin is pretty sure that isn’t going to happen, because Hyunjin is definitely not going to be a pity date for the dance (regardless of the fact that he’s just too good-looking and likable for it), and Changbin probably isn’t even going to go. “Rebound then.”

“It’s just a date to the dance, Changbin.” Hyunjin reminds him. “It’s not that deep.”

“Sure.”

The conditions aren’t as damning as Changbin makes it sound to be, when he actually mentally takes a step back and reads what they’ve come up with so far. The guidelines are also a bit vague, and he doesn’t know if that’s meant to be reassuring or not. At least how he reacts won’t be completely restricted, but there is only a certain limit to the things Changbin can do in response to whatever shit Hyunjin may manage to pull, which Changbin has a feeling he’ll hate, without exposing the fact that their whole relationship is fake.

He thinks the main problem is just that he dislikes the entire thing in general, even if there’s nothing he can really do about it because they’re already started. Turning back now isn’t likely to solve any problems or ease his conscience so much as it’ll harm it with regret for not being able to come out of this alive and fine.

Which he will, without a doubt. And isn’t that what’s important? It’s not like this is a life or death situation, anyway. It’s just . . . high school. He’ll probably look back on this a few years later and laugh it off.

“Regretting it already, bad boy?” Hyunjin inquires amusedly, breath tickling Changbin’s ear.

“When have I not,” is all Changbin says.

➸

**_OCTOBER 24, SECOND HALF OF THE SEMESTER; WEEK 2_ **

Mornings have never been his favorite part of the day. No matter how much or how little sleep Changbin gets the night before, he’ll always wake up wanting to close his eyes until noon.

There’s a buzzing sound in Changbin’s ears when he arrives at school that he knows isn’t coming from anywhere but inside his head, though it sounds a lot like Felix’s mosquito sounds — he had a phase where his only interest was in insects, and the only thing that emerged from that point in his life was the completely useless ability to imitate bug sounds.

It’s nothing new, just the usual effect of not getting enough hours of sleep with the coffee he drank an hours ago not kicking in just yet. Still, he can’t help but scowl when he remembers exactly why he stayed up so late even though he finished his homework early.

Stupid Hyunjin and his dumbass romantic movies. Changbin had spending the last two days when Hyunjin didn’t go home with him — having some errands to attend to, thank the fucking lord — watching a movie or two with plots that seemed so boring they couldn’t be good in _any way_ , but somehow still had him ridiculously charmed.

(“It’s Notting Hill and Love Story.” Hyunjin had said gleefully, pushing his USB into Changbin’s hands right before he left. “If you cry in the second one, please tell me. I need it on record.”

“No thanks.” Changbin replied, rolling his eyes, but he took the USB anyway. Hyunjin had smiled, noticing how his words contradicted his actions, and it was so familiar and blinding that Changbin kicked him out right after because he didn’t want to see him anymore.)

The hallway slowly gets crowded the more students come in. Changbin’s never here this late, because he usually comes early to pick up his stuff from his locker, get to his classroom, and then find a seat so he can nap or mess around on his phone until the bell rings for class to officially begin. He wants to be annoyed at his sloppiness for the day, but part of him can’t be bothered. He has a feeling that today isn’t going to be great for him.

He rubs his eyes before glancing at the clock. Five minutes before time. He knows he should go to his first class already, but he didn’t eat breakfast, too tired to do the work of making food, so his stomach is grumbling now, suffering the consequences. Given the time left, he’d definitely be late if he went to the canteen now to get something to eat. Yet the idea of eating a grilled cheese sandwich — one of the few good things their cafeteria had to offer — is too good to ignore.

Eventually, Changbin’s hunger wins over, and he shuts his locker, turning to make his way out of the building and to the cafeteria. With one hand, he thumbs through the insides of his wallet from his pockets, checking how much cash he has on him and how much he’s willing to spend. Despite the time limit, he walks leisurely through the hall and past the students; one late won’t kill him anyway, and his History teacher lets them eat in class so long as they’re quiet.

Someone grabs his shoulder by the time he already sees the side exit that gives him access to the fastest route to the cafeteria. He doesn’t react harshly or violently, like he usually would, too groggy and half-expecting it to be Felix, but when he stops and turns, it’s Hyunjin.

 _Good god_.

“Morning.” Hyunjin chirps, before frowning at him. He’s wearing one of his earphones, the other dangling off his shoulder. “You look like shit.”

Changbin shrugs. “It’s morning.” He says. It’s only morning, but his button down’s already creased, tie clumsily placed, and his blazer is slung over his shoulder, the epitome of someone who doesn’t give a fuck. He thinks about how not normal this is. And then he blames it again on Hyunjin, internally. “Not everyone wakes up looking like Prince Charming, lover boy.”

Hyunjin tilts his head. “Man, what crawled up your ass and died?”

“You.” Changbin says, but without his usual bite. He wants Hyunjin to go already, because he’s really hungry as hell. He’s impatient. “What do you want?”

“Nothing.” says Hyunjin, with a tone that means anything _but_ that. “Come with me.”

He doesn’t wait for Changbin to respond, just grabs his hands and hauls him towards wherever he wants him to go. Changbin’s too confused to put up much of a fight, but he does frown when Hyunjin finally stops them right in the middle of the hallway.

“What are you doing,” says Changbin, more of a statement than a question.

Hyunjin’s still holding his hands, mid-air between their bodies faced towards each other, and his fingers drum against Changbin’s knuckles in something like anticipation. It’s a habit of his; Hyunjin’s never been known to just remain still. “Remember what we talked about the other day?”

“The guidelines?”

“No, the other thing.”

“We talked about a lot of things.”

Hyunjin shakes his head again, looking like he wants to say something but can’t find the right way to deliver it. “Do you remember last year’s hallway promposal?”

“The one wherein one of your soccer friends bribed the staff to play Shine in the corridor and decorated the outside of Chaesung’s locker with fairy lights and stars before asking her out to prom?”

“Mhm,” Hyunjin nods. “You know, I was the one who gave him the idea to do that.”

Changbin rolls his eyes. “Of course you did.” The reason grand, romantic gestures like those have never been something he particularly liked is because the publicity of it would make the receiver hesitant or stop them from the possibility of saying no or openly disliking it. Typical of it to be Hyunjin’s though. He has a flair for the dramatics. It’s almost sad how he isn’t in theatre. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, great ideas like that are hard to come across,” says Hyunjin. “So unfortunately, I can’t think of anything that can top that promposal at the moment. Maybe something that can equal to it though, because I am never without an idea.”

 _Never without an idea_ , he says. And yet so few of them happen to be actually good. Changbin has no time for Hyunjin’s poorly made mind games, even if they are successfully fucking with him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t get mad at me, okay.” Which is, personally, the one thing you shouldn’t tell Changbin, because it’s natural that his instinctive response would be to get _mad_. But Changbin doesn’t have time to give a response to that, because Hyunjin cups the back of his head and pulls the older towards him, his own head tilting so that he can press a firm kiss on the Changbin's lips. The latter's brain short circuits, unable to process anything but the action. He almost topples over in shock, so his hand scrambles to find balance and ends up gripping onto Hyunjin’s stretched arm holding him. Since they’re so close, he can hear Dean’s Half Moon playing from Hyunjin’s earphones. It’s right at the lyrics of “ _If only I had just half of you, then I wouldn’t feel like this_ ”, and Changbin wonders if Hyunjin timed it like that. He wouldn’t put it past him, even if Changbin doesn’t know what that’s supposed to mean, if the lyrics and their meaning have any real significance.

He starts hearing people whooping and cheering from around them, applauding at the two of them like they’re watching a movie, background noise slowly shifting into much clearer focus and volume, and then he remembers where they are. Hyunjin’s the one who pulls back though, and Changbin’s face turns red at the realization that he wasn’t the first to move away, heart beating erratically.

“What the hell,” is all that comes out of Changbin’s lips.

Hyunjin grins, an almost dreamy look on his face. “I always wanted to do that.”

Changbin punches him in the bicep. “The fuck was that for?”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, longing gaze already gone. “For the grand thing, remember? Didn’t I tell you it was better if we went off with a bang instead of slowly building it up?”

“And didn’t I tell you that there would be zero kissing here?” He gestures to his lips. “It’s only been two days, you fucker, and you already broke a rule."

Hyunjin licks his own lips. The look on his face says he’s doing this on purpose, taunting Changbin, but the latter flushes pink once more anyway. “Sorry, sorry.” the younger says, even though he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “Promise it won’t happen again. Scout’s honor. I keep my promises, I swear.”

“Right.” Changbin deadpans, even though in the back of his mind, he knows it’s true. Hyunjin’s all fun and games, sure, but he’s also a man of his word. Just not in this case. Hyunjin’s insufferable.

“Here. I’ll make it up to you.” Hyunjin says, and then takes out something wrapped in paper tissue. It’s a sandwich, when Changbin gets his hands on it and unravels it. “Homemade. My mom put that blue cheese you weirdly like.”

“You’re such a dick.” Changbin says, though it’s clear he doesn’t mean it, mouth literally watering at the sight of food.

He supposes he shouldn’t make a big deal out of the whole thing, should just let it slide. It does save them the trouble of people possibly asking whether or not they’re together. They’re out and official now. People know. Things are going according to plan.

“Takes one to know one.” Hyunjin replies, still grinning broadly.

When Changbin just shakes his head, exasperated, the students around them — he forgot they were still there — coo loudly. If anything, Changbin gets even redder, more embarrassed than before. It occurs to him, just then, that this is something he’ll probably have to deal with and endure, which he didn’t take into account previously. It’s a big error of judgement on his part. He _hates_ this. Hyunjin doesn’t, obviously, judging by the look of satisfaction and content on his face, though he’s practically ignoring them, keeping his gaze focused on solely Changbin.

The entire scene shatters when everyone suddenly quiets down, and slowly, they part, with the guidance counsellor, Ms. Im, striding past them all and stopping right in front of Changbin and Hyunjin. Her expression is carefully blank; to Changbin, that just makes her look all the more terrifying. Beside him, Hyunjin is immediately tense, clearly not expecting this kind of outcome.

“You two, my office.” Ms. Im says. Then the bell rings, signalling that class is about to start. All the students scatter, until it’s only the three of them still standing in the corridor. “Lunch period.”

When she leaves, they both don’t move, even if they know it’ll just make them even more late. Neither of them looks at one another.

“Fuck.” Hyunjin says.

Changbin wants to punch him again for not thinking this through. Instead, he settles with, “Yeah. Fuck.”

➸

The amount of times Changbin’s been sent to the Guidance Counselor’s Office in his entire high school life is way less than the amount of times he’s been given detention in a year. Which is reasonable, given that detentions are given on teacher’s whims or the need for mild punishment, and guidance counselor visits are given on much more worrying, problematic grounds.

So of course, he’s naturally jittery. He’s had issues with teachers before — it’s why he used to get a ton of detentions, way back then — and he knows how to deal with it, knows what getting in trouble like that is like. It’s not like he doesn’t ask for it, because there’s some sick sense of satisfaction in not just proving people wrong, but seeing them pissed when they realize it.

But this. This is different. Mostly because he didn’t intend for _this_ to happen — a visit to the Guidance Counselor’s Office, what the fuck — and because what he’s trying to prove is something that isn’t even real. Changbin doesn’t know how theatre kids do it.

It doesn’t help that Changbin’s only been to there for about three times, and it was never because he misbehaved badly enough to merit a visit. It was just to accompany Felix, who went there a lot for the sweets. Or maybe not. Changbin’s never paid attention or bothered to ask. He doesn’t know how these things work, but what he does know is that it’s way different from what he’s normally used to.

By the time lunch rolls around, Changbin realizes he doesn’t have much of an appetite. He heads to the office, realizing he doesn’t have anything better to do because Felix is absent, and he doesn’t exactly have any other friends to hang around with. It wasn’t like Ms. Im gave them a specific time anyway.

Fortunately, when he gets there, he sees Hyunjin standing right in front of the door, looking like he’s contemplating on entering. When he sees Changbin, he breathes an obvious sigh of relief, which Changbin gets. A lot.

“Thank God you’re here.” Hyunjin says, when Changbin walks to him.

“The faster we get this over with, the better.” Changbin replies, standing by his side. “I’ve never talked to Ms. Im before. Or even be here because of something I did. Have you?”

“I’ve been here once.” Hyunjin answers. “When I got in trouble for ‘flirting’ with my teacher.”

Changbin almost forgot about it. “How was it?”

“She was out when it happened, so I didn’t get to talk to her about it. Some other counselor.”

Ms. Im has always only been the guidance counselor for the junior and senior batch, but it doesn’t mean she isn’t known around the entire JYP High in itself. Supposedly, she’s one of the best, but also the one who tolerates the least amount of bullshit. Which is a problem, because that’s what Changbin and Hyunjin are full of, especially given the stunt they pulled this morning. It’s why they’re absolutely screwed, in Changbin’s eyes.

“Great.” Changbin says. Then, a thought comes to mind. “You don’t think she wants to see us because of the photo, right?”

“No.” Hyunjin says, after a pause. “Stuff like that never reaches the teachers. Even snitches don’t go to adults.”

Changbin snorts. “How reassuring, that you’re at least sure of that.”

“In case this whole thing turns out to be a show of discrimination though,” begins Hyunjin. “You got an argument prepared?”

“This isn’t a debate.” Changbin points out.

“You would know.” Hyunjin remarks, even though Changbin only lasted for three-quarters of freshman year in JYP High's debate team before quitting and shifting out. He’s never looked back since, and it helps that no one really remembers him for that part of his life anyway, besides Felix _and_ Hyunjin, apparently. Even his family has forgotten about it. “Still, nothing wrong with standing up for what’s right.”

“Right. Because I’m _totally_ the poster boy for righteousness.” Changbin deadpans. Hyunjin smiles, someplace in between pleased and nervous. “Your hands are shaking.”

“Really? Fuck.” Hyunjin swears, shoving his hands in his pockets. “God, I’ve never had to see teachers like this before, ‘sides that one time with the flirting and all. And that wasn’t even that bad, just a misunderstanding that got cleared up. How do you do it?”

“You get used to it with experience.” Changbin replies dryly.

“Right.” Hyunjin lets out a breath, almost like a shudder. “Yeah.”

Changbin gazes at him for a second, noticing how Hyunjin’s anxiousness is painfully obvious. Even through the pockets, he can see the younger’s hands trembling. Changbin hasn’t seen Hyunjin look like that in a long time. He sighs. “Here.” He says, reaching his hand out to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin looks at him before gazing down at his hand.  “What are you doing,” he asks.

The question already makes Changbin want to pull away, feeling embarrassed for even _thinking_ of something like that, what more doing it. Instead, he shrugs, trying to feign nonchalance. “Think this is the kind of thing we need to do . . . for this.”

Hyunjin glances at Changbin’s hand again, silently contemplating. Then, he reaches out his own until their hands are clasped together. In all of Changbin’s years of knowing him, they’ve never done something like this. Not even when they were kids. Changbin was never much of a touchy person to begin with, in contrast to how much Hyunjin was. It doesn’t feel bad, though Changbin wonders when his palms are going to start sweating. “How couple-y.”

“Shut up before I bail on you.” he says, but he takes a step forward and pushes the door to the office open with his free hand. Hyunjin follow him inside.

➸

Ms. Im has an unplanned staring contest with the two of them for five long minutes until Changbin finally cracks and says, “Ms. Im, did you need us for something, or did you just want to stare at us all day?”

Definitely not the right thing to say. From the corner of his eye, Hyunjin shoots him a warning look and digs his heel of his foot into Changbin’s, but the words are already out, and Changbin’s already getting used to regretting his life every minute he spends with Hyunjin. Besides, when Ms. Im finally stops not-so subtly scrutinizing them, she doesn’t look offended.

“Well, seeing as staring isn’t going to get me any answers,” she starts, though Changbin feels like that’s somewhat false, because there’s a lot one can figure out just from looking at a person. It helps too, that she’s in counselling and likely knows a thing or two about reading people. Not helpful for Changbin and Hyunjin though. The younger’s already resorted to tapping his foot against the carpeted floor, unable to hide his jumpiness. “You guys know why you’re here, right?”

“Not really.” Changbin quips. Hyunjin doesn’t say a thing, doesn’t even look at him, but he does squeeze his hand, another warning. Changbin bites his lip; he can’t help if he acts like a dick. It’s in his nature. Some habits just don’t die down that quickly, even if it’s been years. He’s also probably just as nervous as Hyunjin, but he doesn’t want it to show. He doesn’t think he can be blamed if his coping mechanisms are a bit unconventional. “But I don’t think it’s to commend us on our outstanding behavior.”

“I’ll commend you on your boldness, that’s for sure.” Ms. Im states. “Not every gay kid has the guts to flaunt it in front of everyone.”

Hyunjin and Changbin have been holding hands the entire time. Ms. Im shouldn’t be able to see it because of the desk blocking the view, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out where their arms are disappearing to. If she’s trying to drop a hint, Changbin doesn’t know whether it’d be right to say it’s working, because he realizes he doesn’t actually plan on letting go.

“You make it sound like being gay is something to be ashamed of.” Hyunjin comments lowly, speaking up for the first time.

Ms. Im sighs. “Sorry. That wasn’t what I meant.” She says. “What I meant was— the school handbook has rules on PDA on campus grounds. And while we might not be strict on enforcing most of the rules there in general, this section is one where we have to be.”

“It was just a kiss.” Hyunjin protests.

“No public kissing or making out is allowed on school grounds.” She elaborates. “Public romantic gestures are also prohibited unless its prom season, Valentine’s, or some other school-associated dance. It’s distracting.”

“Distracting or disgusting?” Changbin inquires. “Did anyone report us?”

“No, this is a school intervention.”

Changbin wants to cross his arms. Then he realizes he’s still holding Hyunjin’s hand. Dammit. He settles for frowning instead. “Straight couples don’t get the same intervention we get. Isn’t that a little unfair?”

“They do, actually. You’d be surprised at how many of them walked into my office to have this very talk.” Ms. Im tells him. Changbin instantly clamps his mouth shut. “We aren’t specifically targeting you just because you’re queer. Or, well, I’m definitely not. I’m just saying,” She leans forward, resting her folded arms on the desk. “The PDA rules of JYP High don’t just apply to heterosexual couples, but to you as well. You’re not a special snowflake or exempted from the rules just because you’ve got a dick and you also like dick. Everyone gets the same treatment.”

She doesn’t sound mocking, just factual. Changbin can’t actually believe what he’s hearing. Partly because of her really shameless vulgar language, and because he half-expected her to tell them that the school handbook had a specific rule targeting LGBT, and he just didn’t know because he’s never been open or needed to be open about his sexuality before.

It’s not like that possibility wouldn’t be that surprising. His sister once told him that her blockmate came from a school with that sort of rule. Hyunjin just stares at Ms. Im, likely having the same thoughts as Changbin. “Other displays of affection, like hand holding, hugging— that’s still allowed.” She continues. “Just don’t overdo it. In general. Acting all couple-y in public, regardless of gender, can be a bit frustrating to other people. Especially single ones.”

At the last sentence, she smiles a bit, knowingly, and that quickly eases the tension off Changbin’s shoulders. “Right.” Changbin says, rather stiffly. “Noted.”

“Great.” she says lightly. “Guess my job here is done.”

That’s their cue to leave. Hyunjin and Changbin quickly stand up. Their hands part right before, but the smile that remains on Ms. Im’s face kind of gives Changbin the feeling that she knows anyway. Now that the lecture’s officially over, her demeanor instantly changes to something more relaxed, something a bit more welcoming than before. Then again, it wasn’t like she was as terrifying as he thought she’d be in the first place.

“Congrats on getting together though.” Ms. Im adds. “Not that it’s likely to happen, given that the staff of JYP itself has its own set of LGBT, but if you’re experiencing some trouble because of it with other students, my office is open every lunch period.”

“Thanks, Ms.” Hyunjin says. “We’ll keep that in mind.”

“Wait.” Hyunjin and Changbin freeze by the doorway. “One of you, come here.” It’s Changbin who walks back to her, and holds out his hand when she asks him to. “Here.” Ms. Im says, plopping something small and circular in his palm. “Not that I’m promoting it, but better to be safe than sorry.” Changbin instantly turns red. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing personal. I give this to all the couples the school makes me talk to.”

She tells them that they can grab some cookies in the jar stationed right beside the main door that leads them outside the office, and Hyunjin happily munches on both his and Changbin’s share as they leave, not uttering a single word to one another. When Changbin glances down at his watch, it says they only have about ten minutes until lunch break ends.

“That was unexpected.” Hyunjin finally says, once they’re out. “At least it didn’t go as badly as we thought it would. It was actually good, right?”

“Shut up.” Changbin replies, trying not to think of the condom in his pocket. That whole encounter was fucking draining. He wonders if he can get away with sleeping through his next two periods. “I’m out of here.”

➸

**_OCTOBER 25, SECOND HALF OF THE SEMESTER; WEEK 2_ **

Like a true friend, Felix gets to the local pizza place a few blocks away from their school ironically named School Life five minutes faster than Changbin expected him to. He’s frazzled and alarmed, with a few drops of sweat dripping down his face, but Changbin, who sits at the booth close to the entrance so that he can be easily spotted, only feels amused at the amount of effort Felix seemed to put in just to come.

He’s leisurely looking through the menu once again when Felix arrives at their booth, the younger lowering the menu with his two fingers so that Changbin can make eye contact with him. The older doesn’t protest. “Ordered already.” Changbin tells him, beating Felix to it. “Pepperoni, right?”

“Anything, as long as you’re paying for it.” Felix replies, and Changbin puts the menu down on the table. “I’d say I’m surprised that you’re here and actually know a place to hang out that _isn’t_ school, your house, or my house, but School Life also kind of belongs to JYP because we’re the place’s patrons most of the time, so.”

Changbin rolls his eyes. “I’m not that much of a hermit. I just have . . . limited exposure.”

“You’ve lived in this area your whole life and you’ve only been in School Life _three_ times. You didn’t even know there were four coffee shops in your town until I told you, and you haven’t been to any of them yet.”

Changbin shrugs. “Why should I bother when I could make perfectly good coffee for _free_ at home?”

Felix shakes his head in disappointment before sliding onto the couch across Changbin. “Anyway, that SOS text you sent me earlier better be for an emergency. I had to ditch a possible meet up with Jisung in the library, and you know how those are the closest things I can ever get to a dat—”

“I have a very good reason for asking you to come here.” Changbin answers placidly. “It’s about Hyunjin.”

Felix blinks at him, remaining silent for a few seconds, as if he needs time to take in what Changbin just said. Then, he leans back, gazing down at the table and stirring the ice tea in front of him with a spoon, taking an entire 180 turn from normal gay high school kid to main antagonist in an action movie, as he says, rather idly, “Oh? That’s surprising, given how you always imply that he has zero relevance in your life, and shouldn’t even be spoken of around you.”

The abrupt shift in his mood would’ve been amusing if not for how obvious the simmer of lividness in Felix was. “Felix,” Changbin begins, but Felix holds up a hand, signalling him to shut up.

“No.” he nearly snaps. “Every time I mention Hwang Hyunjin, you brush it off like I’m wasting your time talking about how each insect finds their food. But, all of a sudden, I’m finding out that there’s this photo that has been going around for like, what, freaking _weeks_ , where you and Hyunjin are doing the dirty do in the library, a _public place_ , and how it’s the _first_ evidence — not my words — that you two are _dating_. But you were also closeted, so it was like, some kind of secret fucking relationship.”

“I can explain.” starts Changbin.

“Shut up.” Felix glares at him. “No one knew jackshit about it because you two keep on sneaking around and don’t ever act any differently, and they say it’s been going on for _months_ , but no one’s noticed it until just recently. Until that picture. And _then_ , here comes this _other_ thing from yesterday that you two were seen kissing in the hallway. I don’t see you for a _day_ , and suddenly you’re with Hyunjin, acting like two lead protagonists from some YA romance. _And_ — and somehow, I’m hearing all this shit about my best friend from everyone _but_ my said best friend. Mind explaining any of _that_?”

Felix is literally panting by the time he finishes his speech, face scarlet from frustration. The waitress that arrives just then to give them their pizza gives him a concerned look, either from his current state or from the outburst, which Changbin hopes to God she hadn’t heard.

He only speaks up when she’s left to go back to her work and mind her own business. “Did you _really_ just use the phrase, ‘dirty do’?” he asks. “Because I’m pretty sure that’s not an actual term.”

“Did you _really_ get a blowjob from Hyunjin?”

“No.” replies Changbin. “But we are dating.” He pauses. “Fake dating.” Felix raises an eyebrow. “It’s complicated.” Changbin last adds.

“Explain.” Felix demands, looking slightly less menacing than he sounds when he gets a pizza slice a second later.

“Which part?”

“What that picture is, for one.” Felix says.

Changbin sighs, already feeling exhausted. “It was nothing. We weren’t doing anything.” He starts. “I was working on a paper and Hyunjin came looking for a place to hide from some girl. He hid under the table, which I was using, but we didn’t do anything. It didn’t mean anything.” 

“‘It didn’t mean anything.’” Felix mocks. “You two were there for a while though.” He points out. “Or, at least, that’s what people were saying.”

“We talked a bit.” Changbin replies. “That’s all.”

Felix hums, looking thoughtful. “Is that— is that a normal thing you guys do?”

Changbin’s eyebrows knit together, confused by his question. “Which?”

“Hang out.”

“Not really.” Changbin answers, because it’s true. You could call them friends, technically, because they don’t even say _hi_ to each other in the hallways. Occasionally they do, though it’s usually when Hyunjin isn’t distracted by other people or is in a hurry, and Changbin’s failed at trying to keep himself hidden. But it’s not personal, so it doesn’t bother Changbin. This is just part of life. Of high school. Knowing people and then not knowing them. Being there in every memory one second and then not being there anymore. “But we have our moments.”

“Sounds to me like you two were friends before.” Felix remarks. Changbin doesn’t reply. “How come you stopped?”

Changbin takes a bite of his pizza. “Because he was a dick.”

“Why do you still talk to him then?”

It’s hard not to, because Hyunjin has always been impossible to just completely ignore, even more so when he’s trying to get your attention, no matter how infrequently that may happen.

But of course, Changbin doesn’t say any of that. “Because he’s a dick.”

Felix has this look on his face that means he doesn’t believe anything Changbin’s saying, but whatever. People not listening to Changbin feels like a recurring theme. Felix taps his finger against the table. “Makes sense that people thought you two were dating. Secretly.”

“What are you talking about?’

“Look,” Felix says, glancing up at the other as he takes out his phone to show him the picture.  “You two belong in two completely different social groups. Hyunjin’s a total extrovert and your best friend would be your computer if not me. No one would think you two even _know_ each other, what more being together in public, interacting. And the apparent few times you _are_ , they’re in sort of private places like these. To top it all off,” Then he swipes the picture of Hyunjin in between Changbin’s legs to another one. They aren’t in the same position anymore, Hyunjin already seated beside him, but through the grainy quality of the photo Changbin can see that Hyunjin’s smiling. Changbin’s own expression isn’t exactly the same, but it looks relaxed, like he’s slightly enjoying himself.

Changbin snatches the phone from his friend. “What the fuck,” he hisses. “Hyunjin never showed me that.”

“Well,” says Felix. “It isn’t as exciting as the blowjob pic, so it didn’t go that viral. But you did look like you were having the time of your life.”

“Sure,” Changbin says, returning Felix’s phone, trying to act like the other’s words don’t have an effect on him. “It’s not every day that I get to be annoyed by resident bachelor of the year who wants to hide from a girl just because they can’t work out.”

“And yet you’re dating said bachelor of the year at the moment.” says Felix. “Or fake dating.”

Changbin grimaces. “This was Hyunjin’s idea.” he explains. “He found out about the photo a week ago. And also the fact that he was getting zero action lately because of it, so he freaked. Said no one was listening to him when he tried saying we weren’t actually a thing, then he proposed we _become_ a thing. Officially. But it’s fake. Just to give into what the crowd wants.”

“Never thought I’d see the day where Seo Changbin conforms to the masses.”

Changbin ignores him. “And then we break up. He said we need to make a big show of both. The rumors should fade away by then if we’re no longer a couple, according to Hyunjin’s impeccable logic. He said everyone knows it’d be rude to bring that kind of thing up, and then he can go back to getting his biweekly confessions and going on dates.”

“Sounds like a stellar plan.” Felix notes, and Changbin can’t tell if the other’s being sarcastic or not. At least he looks like he’s in a better mood now, either because of the answers he’s getting or because of the pizza. Maybe both. “How’s that working out for you?”

“Terribly.” Changbin groans. “He’s a jerk. He made a show of walking me out the school and carrying my books, and then when we were out of sight from the whole student body, he dumped them on the street and made me carry them myself. That princely, gentleman vibe he has that makes everyone fall in line for him?” He wiggles his fingers. “Total bullshit.” He rips off a piece of his slice with his teeth. “He makes me watch romance movies too. Fucking made me movie marathon shit he likes when I could’ve been doing,” He stops and makes a vague gesture.

“Doing what?” Felix inquires, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know.” says Changbin. “Anything else besides spend time with his ass.”

“I think it’s a good thing.” says Felix. Changbin gives him a look. “What? It’s better than your usual eat, sleep, watch, study routine. At least he got you to watch something that didn’t involve people beating the shit out of each other and guns.” The younger explains. “Did you like them?”

Changbin stirs his drink, making a pointed effort to not look at Felix. “They weren’t bad.”

Felix’s smirk is plainly smug. “See? There’s nothing wrong with watching a little fictional love every once in a while. Even if it does have its clichés.”

“Tell that to him.” Changbin sips on his straw. “I think he thinks he’s living a romcom. Every time he caught me in the hallway today, he’d give me sweets. And he did this right where everyone can see.” This, at least, didn’t violate any of the PDA rules Ms. Im was talking about, but still. Changbin sort of wishes it would, as much as he’d hate to have another revisit, regardless of how chill Ms. Im actually seems to be. “He’s over the top. It’s almost as bad as when he kissed me.”

“He’s a romantic.” Felix points out. “How good is he at kissing?”

Trying to answer that question entails having to think about it, and thinking about it makes Changbin flustered. It’s why he’s locked it in the back of his brain, so he won’t be able to easily access it. It’s simple math. “You’d have better progress asking his exes that question.”

Felix pouts. Changbin doesn’t budge. He’s built immunity to Felix’s attempt at being cute long, long ago. “Are people getting convinced though?”

“Probably. That’s not the point.” Changbin says. “Hyunjin’s just out to get me. You should’ve seen the smug looks on his face when I get embarrassed. And how much candy wrappers I have in my back pocket. He knows I hate shit like that.”

“Small but special and slightly showy romantic gestures?”

“ _Any_ romantic gestures.”

“And you wonder why you’ve never been in an actual relationship before.” Felix comments. “Should’ve thought about that before you had a scandalous blowjob photo with him in the library, hmm?”

Changbin throws a ball of used tissue at him. “It’s not even about the rumors anymore. He’s just an asshole with a growing mullet who likes making me suffer just because he knows he can get away with it.”

“Because you’re a pushover.”

Changbin bristles. “I’m not.”

“You are.” the younger insists. “Especially with Hyunjin. Of course he knows he can get away with it.”

“I’m not.” Changbin says again, almost feebly.

Just then, the door swings open, with two new customers entering. Changbin’s eyes widen comically when he recognizes them, especially that tragic mullet one of them is sporting. And then, to make matters worse, fucking mullet boy turns and spots Changbin. He waves excitedly at the older, and Changbin grimaces.

“Oh, speak of the Devil.” Felix snickers, as Hyunjin and Seungmin approach them.

“Heya,” Hyunjin greets, like an obnoxious fuck who can’t just say _hey_ like any normal person. Changbin half wants to die and half choke him. He can’t believe he’s here. As if he hasn’t gotten enough of him for the past few days.

“Uh, hi, Changbin’s fake boyfriend. And Seungmin.” Felix awkwardly replies instead of Changbin, looking like he isn’t sure as to whether he had the right to reply or not. Changbin doesn’t say a thing, and instead opts to give Hyunjin the middle finger, telling him to go away. “Shit. Am I allowed to know that?”

“Yeah, it’s okay.” Hyunjin says, waving a hand. Felix instantly relaxes. “A max of one person can know our dirty little secret.” Changbin scowls.

“Hi, Felix. And Changbin.” Seungmin smiles politely at the two of them, though at Changbin, it looks a little more strained. He looks vaguely uncomfortable, but no one calls him out on his obvious behaviour as he taps Hyunjin’s shoulder. “I’ll go ahead and order something.” He pauses. “Unless you want to sit with them?”

“Nah, I’ll join you in a bit.” Hyunjin replies. “Don’t get something big though. I don’t think I’ll be able to eat a lot.” Seungmin nods, and then goes to the counter.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” Changbin finally speaks.

“Says who?” Hyunjin wonders, sliding into the couch and forcing Changbin to move to accommodate him despite how he doesn’t fucking want to. “School Life is a pizza place for JYP students. And what am I? A JYP student. I have as much of a right to be here and order pizza as you do.” He makes a move to get the last slice of pizza on the table, but Changbin quickly grabs the plate and distances it from Hyunjin’s reach.

Hyunjin whines, but Changbin just gives him a look. “You are not getting any of this pizza. Order your own.”

“Seungmin’s already doing it for me, but you know how long that takes, right? Around fifteen minutes. I don’t have patience for that. You don’t understand how hungry I am. I’d even eat pineapple pizza.”

“Screw off. Go bug off your boyfriend ordering your pizza for you.”

Hyunjin gives him a look. “ _You’re_ my boyfriend though. Didn’t I tell you that earlier?” he says. They agreed that they didn’t need to pull the act around their friends, and yet here Hyunjin is, fucking doing it anyway. Changbin’s cheeks turn pink at the younger’s words and the memory that follows it. “So technically speaking, I’m doing what you’re telling me to do.”

“Technically speaking, you’re fucking annoying to be with.”

Felix watches them with rapt focus before chirping in, “Earlier?” with too much curiosity and interest in his tone to ignore.

Hyunjin beams at him, like he’s glad someone asked. Changbin feels a sense of dread in his stomach, the kind he gets when the class draws numbers trying to determine who does their presentation first and finding out that he’s number one, the kind he gets when someone (read: Hyunjin. Always Hyunjin) is about to do something that’s going to humiliate him in some way, because that’s Hwang Hyunjin’s fucking job, Changbin’s learning, besides being handsome and friendly and being accomplished and acting like a little shit.

“Well,” Hyunjin drawls. “My class and his had to stay in the lab for Chem. The teacher asked everyone who had a girlfriend or boyfriend to stand up so they could participate and answer his guide questions for the activity. Someone yelled and told me to stand up, but I said I’d only do it if Changbin did too.”

Felix raises an eyebrow. “Did he?”

“What do you think?”

“No.”

“I’m right here, guys.” Changbin says, only to get completely ignored. He really needs new friends.

“He didn’t.” Hyunjin agrees. “But it still works, doesn’t it? Not really a direct confirmation, but one nonetheless.” Conversation topic aside, Changbin’s actually surprised at how easily Hyunjin can talk about this sort of thing to Felix, who he knows has never had an actual conversation with him before. Then again, Felix _does_ know the situation, something no one else knows besides Seungmin, Changbin guesses, which makes things a tad easier to converse with him. He is also Changbin’s only, close friend, and again, Hyunjin’s good with people. It doesn’t actually take much to get him to open up. It’s probably why people are so drawn to him. He makes them want to do the same thing. “The hallway kiss was supposed to take care of that, but, you know, it’s not like everyone was there to witness or hear about it. So we’re just going to drop hints for these people. AKA the ones who actually care enough.” 

“AKA the people who made this an issue in the first place.” grumbles Changbin. Felix nods, but he looks like he’s thinking about something else. Changbin doesn’t give him the time to voice it out though. “God, you’re insufferable.” Changbin tells Hyunjin, kicking him in the shin under the table.

Hyunjin sticks his tongue out at him. “You’re just embarrassed because of how smooth I am with the whole boyfriend thing.”

“What can I say? You’re embarrassing to be with.” Changbin remarks. “Anyone who can tolerate your shit is literally an angel.”

“You do realize you’re indirectly praising yourself, you know.” Hyunjin points out, but he sounds thoughtful. “That kind of confidence is why we’re meant to be.” And then he grabs Changbin’s hand without warning to kiss his knuckles. Changbin yelps in surprise, guard down, and Hyunjin takes the opportunity to steal the last slice of pizza from the other’s grasp.

Changbin’s heart is beating like crazy, and his brain’s still trying to process what just happened, but he still has enough concentration to glare at Hyunjin.

“I’ll kill you.” he threatens.

“No, you won’t.” Hyunjin replies, too confident and too damn right, taking another bite.

Changbin opens his mouth to retort, but then Seungmin loudly calls out the other’s name, and Hyunjin’s attention has already been diverted. He slides out of the booth and stands up. “It was nice talking to you, Felix.” he tells the younger, before gazing at Changbin. He mock salutes the older playfully and says cheekily, “See you later.” Even though Changbin has zero plans of ever seeing him again, especially after what happened to them for the past two days. Hyunjin doesn’t wait for his reply, and skips away to Seungmin.

“Pushover.” Felix says again, when Hyunjin’s at the other side of the restaurant with Seungmin. And then, “Or maybe not.”

Changbin doesn’t like the tone Felix has when he says it. “Shut up.” He says. There’s saliva on his knuckles, and the area feels weirdly tingly; he scowls, wiping his knuckles on his jeans to get rid of the wetness and to try and get rid of the feeling. It doesn’t work, but he pretends like it has.

Felix just smiles knowingly. “Doesn’t take a genius to know how much you hate this whole thing.” he tells him, almost gently. Changbin just sighs. “Maybe it’ll help to keep in mind that there’s a reason why so many people like him, regardless of the fact that he’s dated them or went out with him or none of the above. And it’s not just because of his face.”

Yeah, well, despite Felix's attempt to be helpful, Changbin is sure as hell that he's not going to be thinking of any of  _that_. 

➸

**_OCTOBER 29, SECOND HALF OF THE SEMESTER; WEEK 3_ **

It’s become nearly habit, at this point, that Changbin and Felix never eat inside the cafeteria.

The tables were always packed within the first year they entered JYP High, and at this point, have already been unofficially claimed by the cliques of their year, so Changbin and Felix don’t bother, having made themselves home in the other areas of the campus outside the canteen. It’s not that bad. The place smells like shit anyway, and the noise pollution doesn’t help things either.

“All I’m saying is,” Changbin says, as he and Felix make their way out with their bought lunch on hand. It’s meatballs. Changbin thinks they taste fine; Felix thinks they taste disgusting. Mostly though, they just bought it because the line to the stall wasn’t as long as the others. “They’re definitely going to find out that you were the one who wrote that essay if you let your crush submit it under his name.”

“How would you know? You don’t even read the school newspaper.” Felix asks, heartily munching on his food despite his dislike for the taste. He doesn’t look nearly as distressed about this dilemma as he should be. It’s mildly worrying.

Changbin shakes his head. “I can’t believe I’m friends with someone who does illegal activities.”

“Christ, you make it sound like I’m doing _drugs_. It’s commission, for fucks sake.”

“For academic papers.”

“Hey, this isn’t an academic paper.”

“You’re right.” Changbin agrees. “This is an essay submission contest to 3rd Eye about god knows what, and best written one not only gets featured on the paper, but also gets sent to some big shot essay contest outside of JYP.”

Felix crosses his arms. “It’s not like I’m doing it for the money or to promote slacking off.”

“Because only doing it because you like him and can’t even muster the courage to talk to him about anything outside of commissioning totally justifies everything you’re doing.” Changbin realizes how bitter the edge of his tone is, so he runs his free hand through his hair. “I don’t think this is a good way to go dealing around with your crush. What if he’s just using you?”

“What if he’s not?” counters Felix. They finally reach the bench table sets that are side by side, right outside the cafeteria. This is their usual place, and though Changbin’s not a big fan of the sun and the general heat it radiates, but in October, it’s generally cool, and the umbrella shade the table has helps. “Besides, you’re one to talk, Mr. Faking It.”

Changbin frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Felix doesn’t reply, movements halting abruptly as he’s about to sit down. Changbin is immediately concerned. “Felix?”

“You’re not supposed to be eating with me today.” Felix says. “Isn’t it your lunch date with your boyfriend?”

“The first.” Changbin grimaces. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about him.” Felix raises an eyebrow. “I told him I was gonna spend the entire lunch in the library.”

“All that just to not have lunch with him?” Felix looks at him funnily. “Why’d you agree to it in the first place?”

Changbin doesn’t know. It’s not like he’s never expressed dislike or disagreement for any of Hyunjin’s suggestions, but it’s also not like he’s ever actually fought for it. He shrugs instead.

“Well, your plan’s total shit anyway.” Felix chirps, sitting down.

“Why’s that?”

Felix points at something beyond him, but Changbin doesn’t even have time to look because then something — someone — wraps their arms around Changbin tightly.

“Fuck.” Changbin says, already knowing who it is without having to look at the face resting on his shoulder.

“It’s Tuesday, you know.” says the boy behind him. “Not ‘avoid Hyunjin’ day.”

“That’s basically the same thing.” Changbin says, squirming.

“You know,” Hyunjin begins lightly. “If you really didn’t want to eat with me, you could’ve just said.”

Felix not so subtly raises an eyebrow at Changbin, as if daunting him to reply with his usual snark at the face of something . . . sincere. Changbin guesses it’s sincere anyway. Hyunjin’s tone is casual, but Changbin’s not dense enough to not recognize the hint of something vulnerable in the younger’s voice. For a moment, he’s completely lost on what to do about it.

“I know.” he simply says, suppressing a sigh. “I’ll catch you later, ‘Lix.”

Felix just mock salutes him in reply, mouth stuffed once more. Hyunjin peers in at the paper bag containing his meatballs, and Changbin wordlessly hands him the stick to get one.

Hyunjin takes him to the same campus garden he was in when they made the deal. Changbin’s been in JYP High since the start of high school, but he still doesn’t know the name of this garden, just knows that it’s a place he’s frequently passed by, but never stayed. It’s far from the cafeteria, the library, and the senior building, the only three places he actually goes to, stationed between the ones for the sophomores and freshmen. 

“The library’s a poor way of hiding from me, you know.” Hyunjin tells him, as they sit down on the bench underneath the tree shade.

“Yeah?” Changbin inquires. “Why?”

“Library’s closed every Tuesday lunchtime, bad boy. The staff has their break a bit earlier than usual on these days.”

“Is it only every Tuesday?”

“Tuesday and Friday, funnily enough.”

“Better change my strategy then.” Changbin says, before chewing, though he doesn’t actually mean it. Hyunjin knows that well enough, judging by the grin he sends him. Changbin pretends he doesn’t notice. “So, is it just you and I?”

“Well, it _is_ a lunch date.” Hyunjin says before raising an eyebrow at him. “Why? Do you want to eat with my friends?”

“God no.” He’s seen them when they’re not out doing their sports or other extracurricular activities. They’re just as active, tiring to just _look_ at. What more actually stay with?

Hyunjin swings his legs as Changbin quietly eats. “You’re not gonna eat?”

“Nah.” Hyunjin replies. “Lit is after lunch. I’m supposed to do some homework.”

“Thought this was a lunch date, not a study session.”

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow as he takes out his notebook and a pen. “Thought you didn’t want this to be a lunch date.”

“I don’t.” Changbin says. “What are you having for Lit?”

“My class voted for Macbeth.” Hyunjin says. “Frankly, I wanted more Korean literature, or just Asian, but it wasn’t an option, and they said the more universal and famous literature we discuss, the better.”

“Colonial mentality.” Changbin reminds him absently.

“Or just a JYP High thing.” adds Hyunjin. “I mean, in all honesty, if I had to pick a classic Western literature piece, I’d choose Romeo and Juliet, but it wasn’t an option, and I suppose anything Shakespeare is fine. Beggars can’t be choosers, and who doesn’t love the lack of need to actually read a story because the English is too complicated?”

“Why Romeo and Juliet?”

“Are you really asking me that?” Hyunjin asks.

Changbin doesn’t know why he even bothered. Of course Hyunjin would like Romeo and Juliet. “You’re right. Never mind.”

Hyunjin grins. “It’s the best, oldest example of the naivety of first loves in high school. Romeo and Juliet are _teenagers_ when they get together. High school kids in modern time. Shakespeare didn’t write them as inspirational role models for romance; they’re meant to show how dramatic and drastic teens can get when they’re in love. Why do you think they always say high school loves never last? We still haven’t developed the emotional capacity and maturity one needs for stable, long-lasting relationships.” He pauses. “Not all of us anyway, regardless of how we sometimes believe otherwise.”

“I never thought about it in that way.” admits Changbin, after a few beats of silence. He’s never actually bothered knowing the story though, and just knowing the basic gist of it isn’t enough to form an opinion.

Hyunjin shrugs. “It’s just my two cents.”

“It’s smart.”

It’s a realistic way to see love, which Changbin didn’t peg Hyunjin for, because of how he loves romance. His _nothing lasts for long_ mindset is probably the origin for his many fleeting affections though, hence the playboy nature, so it makes sense. It probably wouldn’t be that bad if people just knew that fact about him.  

“Thanks.” Hyunjin says casually, though he’s obviously flattered by the compliment. Changbin highly doubts his thoughts on these are things he gets recognition for. No one cares about shit like this besides people like him. No one reads anymore. “How about your class?”

“None yet. Lit is still tomorrow.” He says. “I don’t even know the choices.”

“How to Kill a Mockingbird, Catcher in the Rye, Macbeth, Of Mice and Men.” Hyunjin lists off.

“Catcher’s gonna win for my class, no doubt.” Changbin answers, after a moment of thinking. “All my classmates are shitheads. No one loves trouble more than troublemakers.”

“No wonder you’re in that class.” Hyunjin chirps. He clicks and gazes at his opened notes. “Hey, wanna tell me the meaning behind Macbeth’s dagger speech?”

“You already translated it into Korean.” Changbin says. “The answer should already be there.”

“The meaning behind the speech’s symbolism, silly, not the literal one.” says Hyunjin. “You should know that my understanding capabilities of Shakespeare are at the level of, ‘ _Oh, Romeo, Romeo, thou art no homo_.’”

It’s clearly a blatant lie, or a sincere underestimation of his own skills, a total contrast to his previous speech earlier about the love story. Changbin can’t help himself; his mouth quirks up in amusement. “That isn’t an actual Shakespeare line, you know.”

“It should be.” says Hyunjin vehemently. “Help me, please? It’s just like seventh grade all over again, when you’d copy my science notes ‘cause you were always absent during lab work.”

Hyunjin had nice handwriting even back then. It was sort of the only reason why Changbin asked him for notes in the first place, because Hyunjin is the type of student who copies word per word and reading his notebook was the same thing as reading a textbook or looking at an unnecessarily worded PowerPoint. You couldn’t tell what information was actually essential and what wasn’t. But Changbin genuinely envies people who can write legibly, especially those who have font-worthy styles. It makes their shit worth reading, no matter how bull it might actually be.

“You’re asking me to give you answers, not notes.” Changbin points out, though he looks at Hyunjin and his pouty, pleading expression before sighing. He points at the notebook. “Give me that before you claim that by dagger Macbeth actually means dick.”

“You never know with these things!” Hyunjin exclaims, though he hands it to him without question.

Changbin spends the rest of his lunch jutting down his theories at the bottom of the page, with Hyunjin using his free arm as a canvas to doodle to escape his boredom. The meatballs are left unfinished by the end of the break. They part ways with a notebook with no more blank spaces, and a forearm covered in black ink drawings of open books and sharp objects, with a halo of two stars surrounding them all.

Changbin looks at it one last time, and considers challenging his English capabilities with a copy of Romeo and Juliet from the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin still has a mullet here bc the first, super old draft of this was written back when he still had one and i just never bothered to change it when i wrote the newer version. also, the likelihood of me bringing up or using that fake homo romeo and juliet line in some future, other fic is likely. hopefully doesnt count as (self?) plagiarism.


	3. Taken For a Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You are a cruel, cruel man.” Hyunjin remarks gravely, sitting up as he tries straightening out the paper. “I tell you that it’s fate that we got the highest scores in our class for the History test and you respond by crumpling the note?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... so i clearly was not able to keep my promise of monthly updates, and AHA i'm really sorry for that :""). i actually had half this chapter done by march, but then Real Life slapped me in the face and reminded me of all my responsibilities (concert season is HELL and so is finals, not to mention graduation), and i kept on rewriting both the already written parts of this chapter + the new ones i had to add. until now, i'm not satisfied with it, but at least it's something (it's a whopping 10.6k words i hope that makes up for all the months of waiting bc that's a wholeass one shot). that being said, i hope you guys enjoy it for what it's worth, and thank you so much to those who have still stuck by this story despite its relatively long delay. 
> 
> also, i definitely won't be updating this monthly, but it /will/ be finished. while this fic is a priority of mine, i still have others from other fandoms that i want to focus on. i'm also admittedly not feeling kpop, esp skz as much as before. you could say that i still live in the my pace era.

**_CH. 03: TAKEN FOR A FOOL_ **

➸

 

> _“I could hear the chit chat, take me to your love shack_  
>  _Mama’s always gotta back track_  
>  _When everybody talks back_  
>  _Never thought I’d live to see the day_  
>  _When everybody’s words got in the way”  
>  _
> 
> —Everybody Talks by Neon Trees

➸

**_OCTOBER 29, SECOND HALF OF THE SEMESTER; WEEK 3_ **

The moment their teacher declares that the rest of their period would be dedicated to doing some paired activity due in two days, Changbin lays his head down on the table and abuses his teacher’s leniency with technology usage in his class by checking his phone.

It’s still the last period, and no class is dismissed yet, but Changbin’s been getting a stream of notifications from his phone for the past five minutes. It’s Felix, obviously, when Changbin checks, because it can’t be anyone else, but Changbin wonders why he briefly assumed it could’ve been.

 

> can u believe i’m getting paid to make memes  
>  (mr. song wants us to make some for his class and it’s . Graded)  
>  this is the easiest fucking money in history  
>  can u believe the laziness of these ppl??  
>  not that i’m complaining  
>  because you know  
>  cash $v$  
>  **_from felix, 02:07pm_ **
> 
> what happened to “not doing it for money”  
>  **_from changbin, 02:12pm_ **
> 
> this isn’t the same fuck u  
>  it’s MEMES binnie  
>  MEMES .  
>  how can i say no to that???  
>  **_from felix, 02:13pm_**
> 
> icb ur messaging me just bc of this  
>  i refuse to be associated with ur illegal activities  
>  goodbye  
>  and goodnight  
>  **_from changbin, 02:14pm_ **
> 
> :<  
>  ignoring me is homophobia  
>  ur a horrible gay best friend  
>  **_from felix, 02:14pm_**
> 
> ur also fucking gay  
>  **_from changbin, 02:14pm_ **
> 
> what’s ur point  
>  **_from felix, 02:15pm_ **

 

“Hey,” someone says, tapping on his shoulder, and he swears— he _swears_ he doesn’t jolt in surprise. His body just tenses, at most. Nothing that drastic.

Hwang Yeji’s amused smirk says otherwise.

“Yes?” Changbin says, eyebrows raised, because he’s pretty sure he’s not paired with Yeji for this subject’s activity and they’ve never had reason to talk. Ever.  

“Mind doing an interview?”

“For what?”

“3rd Eye’s next week issue.”

Changbin had no idea Yeji was part of 3rd Eye. Then again, he doesn’t really pay attention to these kinds of things. “About?”

“You and Hyunjin.”

Changbin straightens up at the words. “Why?”

“We’ve just been given approval to put up our first ever LGBT column in our issues.” Yeji explains, absentmindedly twirling a hanging strand of hair in front of her face. She tucks it behind her ear. Changbin remembers that she was the Yeji Hyunjin was trying to hit on before he found out about the rumors about the two of them. “And we wanted to make our first article for that portion about you two. You know, show support and inspire others to do the same. Be open about their love and all.”

“The approval doesn’t have anything to do with that public outing Hyunjin and I did, does it?” he asks hesitantly.

Yeji rolls her eyes. “Coincidence, Changbin. You’re not that special.”

Changbin makes a face. “Then why us? We’re not the first openly gay couple out there.” Not that he can necessarily name them off the tip of his tongue, but he does know that they exist. Somewhere. At some point.

“True.” She acknowledges with a tilt of her head. “But it’s not every day that it’s a relationship involving Hwang Hyunjin.”

Changbin blinks. “I thought you said we weren’t that special.”

“ _You’re_ not that special.” Yeji emphasizes. “JYP’s most beloved? Definitely.”

Getting worked up over her words is stupid, because she doesn’t mean it in a bad way, only in a factual one, so he doesn’t bother. “I’d hardly call him _that_.”

“What would you call him then?” she asks slyly. Changbin doesn’t take the bait.

“Is that part of the interrogation?”

“No.” Yeji says. “Does that mean you say yes?”

He doesn’t really have anything better to do anyway. And while he isn’t keen on telling someone about what goes on in his life, especially when it’s going to be released to the public, he sort of understands how it’s a big deal for 3rd Eye, to be able to have a special section like that, and that they chose to do Hyunjin and Changbin for a specific reason. Even if he’s aware that it’s really based on student popularity.  

Besides, he has a feeling that even if he doesn’t agree, then Hyunjin will, and he doesn’t trust the younger to not somehow say embarrassing things about him while being interviewed about their pretend relationship. They haven’t even established a proper backstory yet. Changbin might as well do it to make sure something he doesn’t like won’t come up.

“You’re interviewing Hyunjin too, right?” he asks.

“Of course. We need both sides of the story.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow, probably. Earliest.”

Getting humiliated is inevitable then. At least he’ll have enough time to tell Hyunjin what he said so that they can be consistent. Changbin’s going to ask for a ridiculously big favor from Hyunjin after all of this is over, and Hyunjin isn’t allowed to say no regardless of what it might be. The younger owes him at least that, for all the shit he’s making Changbin go through.

A part of him wishes he agreed to do this for more altruistic reasons. The rest of him wishes he just said no. 

“Fine.” He agrees. “I’ll do it. But only until the end of the period.”

Yeji smiles before fishing out a pen and a notepad. She’s always carrying those two things around. Changbin doesn’t know how he didn’t piece together that she was part of the journalist club until now. “How long were you two dating?”

“Eight months.” He says automatically, spewing out the first number he could think of.

“That long?” Yeji raises an eyebrow, but she juts it down anyway. “You got together in . . . March?” Changbin hums. “How did you two get together?”

“Prom.” He answers, because that’s the most memorable thing about last March he can remember.

She tilts her head. “You went alone, did you? Was it because of him?”

Changbin went alone because he didn’t plan on going in the first place. “Not really.” He says. “I mean, he brought a date anyway, so it wouldn’t have mattered whether I brought one or not.”

“I don’t remember you two talking during prom.” Yeji notes.

“How would you really know? Hyunjin talked to _everyone_ during prom.” That, Changbin isn’t actually so sure of, but from the look on Yeji’s face, he’s right. It feels awfully easy to bullshit this. As the seconds tick by, a somewhat coherent story is already formulating in his head. “Prom is his thing, and it isn’t mine, so we didn’t see each other much during that time. We spent after prom together though, in a barbeque place near his house. Then I went over to his to sleep over since it was late, and it was just . . . no one was house, the atmosphere was nice, and when we took a break from playing video games, it . . . seemed like a good idea to kiss. And then the next day, we talked about what happened and started dating.”   

It’s a simple crafted story. Nothing particularly romantic or special, but it’s the most realistic thing Changbin can think of. He doesn’t know how on earth any of what he’s saying may be article-worthy, but that’s Yeji’s problem.

“You said you’ve been dating for eight months, but I take it you were friends before that then?” says Yeji. “People say that all these years they never even saw you two acknowledge each other in the hallways. I get being lowkey about your relationship, but friends? Why’s that?”

He doesn’t want to answer this question. It makes his stomach twist, thinking about the truth, even though he can’t say it to her. “There’s a term Hyunjin used once, back when we weren’t yet together. ‘Low maintenance friends’.” Changbin begins. At least this part isn’t a lie. “It’s friendships you don’t need to maintain much for it to still be strong and important. You could go for months without seeing or talking to that friend for months, but once you do, it’s like there was never any distance between you two. We were sort of like that, I guess.”

He found that term funny, when Hyunjin told him that. It meant that Hyunjin still acknowledged them as friends, even though he basically ignored Changbin for most of high school and only went to him when he needed something or when no one was watching. Before they started putting up the façade of dating, the last time they texted one another was back in sophomore year, when Hyunjin wanted to borrow a science textbook. Until now, he hasn’t returned it. Changbin thinks the younger mistook it for his lost one and gave it away. Changbin doesn’t take it personally. He’s had years to master that kind of mindset. It’s easy to replace hurt with annoyance, and that tends to be his constant mood around the other anyway.

“And even when we got together, I didn’t want people to know about us.” He adds, pushing the thought aside. “Not yet anyway. It wasn’t that hard to hide, in the start.”

“Why didn’t you want people to know?”

“Because they’d pry.” He gives her a knowing look.

Yeji raises her hands in mock surrender. “Hey, you’re the one who agreed to do this. And it’s for a good cause.”

“I still fail to see how.”

Yeji sighs like Changbin is one of the stupidest men she’s ever met. “Do you get how risky of a move Hyunjin made, to practically be the school superstar and come out of the closet by being public about his relationship?”

“It’s not like Hyunjin being gay isn’t old news.”

“He isn’t _gay_.”

_Christ,_ the indignation in her voice makes it sound like he offended _her_. “I meant generally. Fine. Bi. Pan. _Whatever_.” Changbin huffs. “It’s not like JYP High has anti-LGBT rules in its handbook.”

“Not every school if JYP High.” She gives him a look. “He’s going to have this carry this shit with him wherever he goes. Korea isn’t progressive enough to be that accepting, and word gets around too easily, from school to school, from career to career. It’s inevitable that he’ll be treated different by others just because of his sexuality, no matter how much talent he has.”

He blinks. “You do realize he’s not the only one who came out.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t have a bunch of Ivy League-level colleges running after you, do you?” she retorts, pointing her pen at him. “You’ve got nothing to lose.”

That stings, but Changbin remembers that she doesn’t know jackshit about him. Besides, it’s not like what she’s saying is completely false. Just half. “I resent that statement.” He says instead. “I’m not the one who wanted to go public anyway; _he_ did. Has it ever occurred to you that he knew what he was getting into, and just _didn’t care_?”

“Now you’re getting it!” she exclaims gleefully, except that just confuses Changbin even more.

“What?”

“It may not be the first time an LGBT couple has been open about their relationship in this school, but it’s the first time it involves someone like _Hyunjin_. Didn’t I already tell you this?”

She did, probably, but with other words. The message is still the same though, and it’s not like he didn’t get it the first time. Maybe being in denial about it is just easier to accept for Changbin.

“The fact that he doesn’t care what other people think about him even though he’s supposed to have an image to maintain because of his status is _inspiring_.” Yeji bursts, a glint in her eyes. Changbin never knew someone could speak so fast until now. “It takes guts; it takes bravery. If someone like him could do that, regardless of the possibility that he may lose all that he’s been given, then what else do closeted LGBT couples have to be afraid of?”

“So, so many other things.” Changbin answers flatly. “If that’s the point of your article, then why did you even bother approaching me?”

“Like I said, we need both sides of the story.” Yeji says. “I know the main point of it all relates to Hyunjin, but in this relationship, you’re just as important.”

“Oh, so now you acknowledge my value.”

“Why come out now though?” asks Yeji, ignoring him.

Changbin closes his eyes. “Do you want the truth or something wholesome?”

“I highly doubt that the truth is something that we can put in the article.”

“The library blowjob photo? Definitely not.” He agrees. Yeji grins. “And we weren’t doing anything. Hyunjin was just messing around.”

“Messing around, constantly dating, breaking girls’ and boys’ hearts left and right? How did you feel about it?”

He wants to credit the crankiness starting to show to not being able to sleep, or the fact that this interview is longer than he thought he’d be and he’s tired of making up answers and being offended at what Yeji’s saying to him, even if it is relatively accurate, but. He has a distinct feeling that it’s for none of these reasons that he practically snaps at Yeji. “I know his rep makes him look like some kind of douchebag, but it doesn’t mean it’s true or it’s as bad as he seems. Aren’t you a journalist? You should know how this shit works. Never assume anything until you get all the info you need.” He says. “And he’s being himself, friendly and a little flirty. If I had some fucking issue would it, I would’ve told him, and he would’ve done something.” 

Yeji stares at him with wide eyes, shocked at his outburst. “Okay.” She says slowly. “I didn’t actually mean it, but okay.”

Changbin sighs. “Sorry.” He can feel the gaze of some people around them on him, obviously drawn by his sudden outburst. It’s easy to ignore, when he’s more preoccupied with something else, but still. He hates this. “Is that it?”

“Why come out now?”

“Why not?” Yeji frowns. “There are only so many ways you can explain that picture.”

“So if it never happened, you wouldn’t?”

“Maybe . . . not now.”

Yeji just nods. “I wanna end this article on a positive note, something to all those LGBT kids still in the closet. Do you have any advice or ideas for that?”

“I’m not good at motivational speeches.” He’s not idealistic enough to think of them. And it isn’t exactly like his sexuality is something he often worries about. It’s just something that’s there, that exists to him. He almost tells Yeji that this is more of Hyunjin’s jurisdiction, not his. Hyunjin, definitely, would have something profound and meaningful to say. Like not being afraid, not caring what other people think. To imitate him, in all his glory and bravery and sincerity. These are not particularly Changbin things to do, to believe, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t agree and goes against them.

But the way she looks at him with that sort of expectancy — it’s like she knows all that, and still asked him anyway. She wants a different answer.

“Sometimes it’ll be bad, sometimes it’ll be good.” He eventually replies. “You can’t predict how other people react, and you can’t dictate anyone’s emotions. In the end, it all boils down to whether or not it matters. Care if you want, care if you don’t. Come out if you want, and if you don’t, then that’s your choice. No one’s asking you to be the face of your community. Just . . . do what you want. Either way, there will be rewards and consequences, so at least choose what you think will make you happiest. ‘Cause that’s the point of life, you know,” He taps the pencil he’s holding against the table mindlessly. “Being happy. All that jazz.”

“Your eloquence blows my mind.” She deadpans, but she doesn’t sound dissatisfied.

The bells rings, just in time, and Changbin can’t help but let out a sigh of relief. Yeji doesn’t take offense to that, just grins at him in her trademark amusement, and he realizes that she’s actually a nice girl, all things considered. Being nosy and straightforward is part of the job. If he was in her place, he’d probably act the same way.

“Nice talking to you.” Yeji says. “Helpful interview too. Thanks.”

“Yeah,” Changbin just says, not really keen on agreeing because he doesn’t think he’ll mean it as much as he pretends to.

As the teacher and the students start filing out, she stands, but doesn’t immediately leave. Instead, she turns to him, an expression on her face that he can’t exactly read. “Hey,” she begins. “3rd Eye’s holding its biyearly try-outs for potential members. Contest’s always the same every time, but if you don’t know it, it’s basically an article submission. We’ll given a set of prompts, and applicants need to choose from them to write their piece. One’s the minimum, but you can always give more. The rest of the details are in our page, but that’s the basic gist of it. Top three best articles gets the participants the memberships, and 3rd Eye’s no joke when it comes to accepting people.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

Yeji shrugs. “Nothing, maybe.” She admits. “Just thought you should know. Hyunjin said you were a writer, and I’m interested.” Then she exits the classroom, leaving Changbin alone inside.

He doesn’t realize until a minute later that he’s been gripping his pencil for an awfully long time. It’s not forceful, however, like he expects it to be. Maybe he’s not as mad as he thought he’d be, that Yeji knows because Hyunjin told her, even though he wasn’t supposed to in goddamn first place.

The thought doesn’t bode well with him.

➸

He finds Hyunjin still in his own classroom, when the school halls are already mostly deserted and the rooms practically empty. The younger is busy rearranging the chairs. Changbin doesn’t say anything, just watches from the doorway as Hyunjin finishes his task. Though he doesn’t acknowledge him, Changbin knows Hyunjin knows he’s there.

It’s obvious he’s cleaning the classroom, judging from the way there’s a broom leaning against the wall at the side and how the floor’s clear of trash and dust. The windows are pushed open, allowing the fresh air to enter the room. The view in Hyunjin’s classroom is a lot better than Changbin’s, giving the students the sight of one of their school gardens instead of the break room of the faculty, so all Changbin actually sees when he looks outside are teachers going on their coffee break.

Cleaning up is unnecessary because they have janitors, but the teachers have said every once in a while to minimize the mess just to take pity on them and at least help them lessen their workload. Most of them hear the words, but don’t actually do anything about it, and while Changbin hasn’t actually made effort to do any sort of cleaning besides making sure his area is free of trash, he does make sure to not actively cause any more clutter. It might just be a student leader thing, wasting time doing more than supposed to in order to help out, and while Changbin’s always known Hyunjin to be JYP’s golden boy, he never really acknowledged that it could be for more than just his talents in sports and approachability until now.

Changbin knows he should go straight to the point and bring up the reason why he’s even here: Yeji, the stupid interview, and whatever the fuck Hyunjin told her about his non-existent writing skills. What comes out instead is, “Didn’t know you spent your time doing janitor work when you weren’t at practice.”

Hyunjin shrugs, finishing the last of the chairs at the back before walking to the front. “It’s therapeutic.” He drags the teacher’s chair to the board, takes the eraser, and climbs on the chair, beginning to erase the board. Changbin notices that on the teacher’s desk, there are papers stacked in three piles. He guesses they’re from three different subjects, and that Hyunjin also had something to do with how neatly they’re arranged.

He can’t help but snort in amusement. “Right.” he says, disbelieving.

Hyunjin erases the whiteboard thoroughly, so even the smudges of black ink from the markers disappear along with the eraser. Only a portion of the board is clean, but it’s so white and nice to look at that it practically seems brand new that Changbin’s almost tempted to ask Hyunjin to do his own classroom’s afterwards, because his class’ whiteboard hasn’t been clean since the first day of senior year.

Hyunjin hums a tune under his breath while Changbin watches him work. He thinks it’s from one of those John Hughes films the younger has been watching over the weekend, which he texted Changbin about while he was watching even though Changbin gave zero fucks. Breakfast something. Changbin only vaguely remembers the plot because he’d been bored at the time Hyunjin was basically live texting his movie binge-watching experience and actually bothered to read through his explanation of the film’s plot.

“You know that girl you were trying to hit on at the beginning of this entire shit show?” Changbin begins. “Well, she’s planning on interviewing you tomorrow about our ‘relationship’.”  

Hyunjin stops what he’s doing. “What?” He says, like he didn’t hear Changbin right.

He’s surprised Hyunjin doesn’t know about it, because Hyunjin has the uncanny ability of knowing about _everything_ , but he gives him the rundown of last period’s conversation anyway. Changbin tells him the story he gave, Yeji and Hyunjin scrunches his nose is amusement when he hears it.

“Nothing you told her is what actually happened during prom.” He points out.

Changbin rolls his eyes. “Telling her the truth doesn’t benefit either of us, because it wouldn’t make sense.” He says. “Besides, everything is already a lie anyway. What’s one more?”

“Why prom though?” Hyunjin wonders. “Why didn’t you say something else?”

“It was the first thing that came to mind, okay?” Changbin says. “I’m not exactly an expert on realistic creativity.”

Hyunjin sniffs. “Your writing skills beg to differ.”

“Speaking of which,” says Changbin, walking towards Hyunjin. It’s a little hard to be intimidating when he has to gaze up at Hyunjin, who is still standing on the chair. “I can’t believe you told Yeji I’m a writer. I’m _not_.”

“I didn’t tell her that, per say.” Hyunjin corrects, going back to his board he’s cleaning. “She was talking about 3rd Eye’s try-outs, and I just happened to offhandedly mention that one of the prompts matched that thing you wrote on rock music. She hasn’t actually read anything of yours, but she wants to.”

“And she won’t get to.” Changbin says firmly.

Hyunjin shrugs. “It wouldn’t hurt to try, you know.” He says. “Yeji interviewed you, right? Didn’t anything about what she was doing interest you?”

The automatic answer is no, but then he thinks about how she was taking notes, bullet per bullet, of her follow up questions to his answers because she was genuinely interested in the scoop she was given, having access to the 3rd Eye website, a public platform that lots of people actually read through and check out, of the press pass attached to her ID that he saw but didn't pay attention to. It’s legitimate, her work, even if it’s just for school purposes. She has a voice and she’s heard.

Freshman Changbin, if he knew about how much 3rd Eye has grown and advanced throughout the years, would’ve pissed his pants trying to get membership. They only accept the best and most competent, after all, and they’re recognized for it. Changbin’s a senior now, and cares about different things, has different priorities (maybe not as ambitious or good, but they’re his priorities nonetheless), but that childlike part of him is still there, the Changbin who still cared about standing out and still thought it mattered.

Hyunjin’s trying to pry that old self out of him, Changbin knows. He wants to resent him for it, because Hyunjin wasn’t there during the time period where he went from starry eyed and loud to indifferent and quiet, but he can’t, because it’s working. Because he wants.

“Changbin,” says Hyunjin, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Changbin’s so startled that he ends up kicking his leg forward in a knee jerk reaction, and it pushes the chair away, causing Hyunjin to fall off. On instinct, Changbin reaches out to brace Hyunjin as they both fall to the floor together.

Immediately, pain shoots up his ass and chest, his body taking most of the impact from the fall. Hyunjin’s head knocked itself against his chest, and it’s harder than it looks. Hyunjin’s on top of him, and they’re both wincing, but the only thing Changbin cares about is the fact that their faces are only inches away from each other. When they make eye contact, Changbin finds it strangely impossible for him to look away.

“My Prince Charming,” remarks Hyunjin amusedly, “Saving me from peril.”

The comment would usually make him scoff and push him away, and Changbin knows Hyunjin knows this, probably expects him to do it. It’s probably why he even bothered saying it, though Hyunjin’s always been known for having no brain-to-mouth filter in general around Changbin.

Changbin snorts though, instead of getting mad, because he realizes he isn’t annoyed. Can’t be, because Hyunjin’s got that look in his eyes again, wistful and resigned, contradicting the playfulness he always tries to show. Until now, Changbin doesn’t know what that means.

Doesn’t know why seeing it gives him the sudden urge to do something ridiculous, something he thinks— knows he’ll berate himself for doing after, just to wipe that look away from Hyunjin’s face.

His thoughts come to a screeching halt when he hears loud wolf whistling and cheering. They both look to the open windows, where a group of their classmates are, looking at them with wicked grins and amusement radiating off of them. The duffel bags they hold onto and the sweat that clings to their foreheads under the afternoon sun means that they just finished training, and Changbin realizes that he’d been here longer than he thought.

“Aw, why’d you guys stop?” One of the boys asks. “You were just getting to the good part!”

“Don’t stop on our account.” Another one inputs.

Changbin flushes an impossible red, but he scowls, annoyance overriding his embarrassment. (Embarrassment for _what_ exactly, Changbin isn’t going to delve into.) “Fuck off!” He yells at them, but that just makes them chuckle.

“I know you’re enjoying the show,” Hyunjin tells them, turning to them. There’s ice and blatant irritation in his voice. “But do you mind giving us a little privacy?”

“Sorry, Hwang.” The third one apologizes, sounding like he half-means it, and then nudges the two of his friends away. They all go, understanding that the spectacle’s over, but not before winking suggestively at the both of them and wagging their eyebrows. The fact that Hyunjin seems just as mad as he feels makes Changbin secretly feel better about the situation.

Then Hyunjin turn to him, smirking like there’s this reference or joke between them that only they understand, and the entire thing reminds Changbin of the hallway kiss they staged.

Of course.

“A little warning would be nice.” Changbin tells him.

“Sorry.” He says, in his trademark tone of _not sorry at all._ “Didn’t know how to tell you when they were already nearby.”

Changbin rolls his eyes and shoves him off. “Well, find a way next time, because fuck knows I can’t keep up with you.”

“I think you’re doing just fine.”

“Sure.” He says, because he doesn’t know how to reply to the sincerity of Hyunjin’s words. “We don’t have to be all lovey dovey to each other all the time.”

“We’re in our honeymoon stage, fresh out of coming out and sharing our love to the world.” Hyunjin recites dramatically. “We need to show it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Changbin stands up as Hyunjin pulls away, and retrieves his fallen bag. “I’m leaving. I’ve had enough of your face for one day.” Changbin says, which causes Hyunjin to let out an offended _“hey!”_. “Have fun cleaning the room, lover boy.”

He doesn’t look back as he leaves the school, doesn’t care if his departure is abrupt. The thin layer of irritation that he’s been carrying threatens to come out, and slowing his pace as he walks home doesn’t help calm it down.

This is overkill. Hyunjin is overkill. A big part of Changbin is exasperated at the other for never telling him squat, for always assuming that Changbin will just get the hint and play along without any questions when Changbin can barely work out his complicated feelings towards this whole matter, towards Hyunjin, what more whatever the fuck he wants to do—

And that’s the root of the problem, isn’t it? His feelings, his thoughts. Hyunjin is just one big question mark and he’s definitely going to be the cause of Changbin dying due to stress, because Changbin’s so out of his element here and getting strung along by Hyunjin is exhausting and at the same time stupidly _exhilarating_ , and he didn’t sign up for all these complicated emotions towards supposedly simple matters.

_What was he thinking?_ Some part in his mind asks, because that’s what it really cares about. All it can replay is Hyunjin on top of him. _What the fuck were_ you _thinking?_

Changbin can’t answer it. Not now. He decides to just push it away.

➸

**_OCTOBER 30, SECOND HALF OF THE SEMESTER; WEEK 3_ **

There’s a small piece of folded paper sitting innocently in his assigned seat when he arrives at the lab for Chemistry class. It’s pink, so Changbin doesn’t think it’s for him at first, and there’s no name on it. But he picks it up anyway, quickly looking around to see if anyone’s looking. Everyone inside is minding their own business, so he turns back to the paper and opens it.

“What is that?” a voice suddenly says behind him. Changbin startles, nearly ripping the paper in half as he turns back to see Jeongin looking at the paper curiously, before gazing at him. “I see.”

Changbin scowls, putting the object in his hand away from sight. “You didn’t see anything.”

“Seeing Hyunjin’s name was enough for me.” says Jeongin lightly, and the older unconsciously flushes at the mention of Hyunjin’s name. Then, just when Changbin thinks the conversation has ended, “I didn’t know you liked pink.”

Changbin thinks, _fuck it_ , and crumples the paper like the garbage it really is. Changbin clenches his fist, indifferent to how the paper crumples into a ball in the process. “Shut up.”

It’s easy to forget about the piece of paper for the rest of the classes in the morning, though the back of his mind always serves as a good reminder and nag that yes, he _is_ annoyed, and he can’t actually ignore it.

The moment the bell rings for lunch, Changbin immediately makes his way to the back of one of the campus buildings. Hyunjin’s there, as expected, in his usual place by the bench underneath the tree shade, eating a sandwich and carelessly scrolling through his phone. He’s lucky no one’s currently in the area besides him to tell him off for going against school rules.

Changbin doesn’t hesitate when he gets there, delivering a hefty punch to the younger’s shoulder. Then he takes out the crumpled pink paper from his pocket as Hyunjin tenderly rubs the spot where Changbin hit him. “This wasn’t part of the deal.” the older says.

“Technically was.” Hyunjin replies, casually leaning back after he’s recovered, somehow knowing exactly what Changbin’s referring to. Unless the truth is that Hyunjin’s just really good at bullshitting. Changbin’s known the other long enough to realize that it’s likely both. “Romantic gestures, remember?”

He’s back-flat on the bench now, like he owns it, and Changbin thinks that this is probably Hyunjin’s unsaid favorite place in the entire school just because of how the younger’s always here whenever he’s alone or wants to be. For noon, the sun isn’t nearly as bright as it usually is. Changbin is vaguely reminded of the first time they were here, back  when they first made the fake dating agreement. That was— almost around a month ago. It feels like it’s been longer.

Changbin wonders when he stopped being Hyunjin’s qua-monthly pit-stop, and let Hyunjin became a near permanent in his life. It’s been years.

He crumples the pink paper and throws it at Hyunjin’s face. Hyunjin’s face scrunches up when it hits him right smack in the center, but reaches his hand out just in time to catch it before it falls. Changbin has to admit that he’s impressed by Hyunjin’s agility, but he won’t admit that the face the other made caused Changbin to feel something. He’s good at looking unemotional, might as well internally embody it.

“You are a cruel, cruel man.” Hyunjin remarks gravely, sitting up as he tries straightening out the paper. “I tell you that it’s fate that we got the highest scores in our class for the History test and you respond by crumpling the note?”

“You know I don’t like shit like this.”

“Everyone knows you don’t like shit like this. It’s been established since day one.” Hyunjin says flippantly. “That’s what makes doing it more fun.”

“You’re annoying.”

He doesn’t actually know why he’s so pissed. Actually— he knows why, but it feels kind of unreasonable on his part, especially because they had a good bonding moment a few days ago that he knows they haven’t had in a long while, and in that moment, this entire situation didn’t sound like a total nightmare. Except the interview came, and the— that fucking _thing_ they had yesterday that wasn’t actually a _thing_ , more like his momentary delusion, and then the post-it. It all just builds up to one reminder written in plain print: they’re acting. It’s all just a sham, and they’re just trying to fool everyone.

Changbin should get his head out of his ass and remember that he’s not supposed to be one of those fools. In the first place, he doesn’t even know why he’s so affected in the first place. Then again, he thinks that there’s only so much of Hyunjin’s shit that he can take in a year, what more on a near day-to-day basis like now. Of course it’s rubbing him off wrongly. That has got to be explanation for all of this. 

Hyunjin just looks at him, ever amused. “And yet you’re still here.”

“Just to tell you that you can’t impress me with things like that.” Changbin answers. Hyunjin looks like he doesn’t believe him, and Changbin groans, because every battle with Hyunjin is a losing one. “God, I hate you.”

“Don’t you always.” Hyunjin muses, suddenly looking distant for a moment. Then he returns, just as they hear the bell ring from a far distance. Hyunjin sits up. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Fuck you.” is all Changbin says, before turning around and walking away. He doesn’t notice Hyunjin throwing the crumpled note in his slightly opened backpack.  

➸

**_NOVEMBER 01, SECOND HALF OF THE SEMESTER; WEEK 3_ **

Changbin’s dumb enough to think calling Hyunjin out on his shit is enough. And it does, in the sense that Hyunjin doesn’t leave anymore dumb notes on tables for Changbin to find because somehow, Hyunjin creepily knows the places Changbin goes to and stays in. Not that they’re particularly unique places, but still.  

The crumpled papers stuffed into his bag without his knowledge though — he can hear Felix tutting in his head and saying that this wouldn’t be an issue if he just zipped his backpack properly like a normal person instead of slinging it half-opened — is another thing entirely.

“Um,” Actual Felix starts, seated on the carpet of Changbin’s living room, peering down at the elder’s backpack. All his school essentials are already out. “Since when did your bag serve as a part-time trash bin?”

Changbin, sprawled on the couch, briefly looks away from his phone to gaze down at what Felix is referring to. At his best friend’s inquisitive gaze, Changbin sits up and reaches down to pick a piece of crumpled paper from his backpack. They’re all colored, none of them white. Looking at the pile in the inside of his bag, Changbin realizes all the colors put together forms the colors of the rainbow. He doesn’t know if that was on purpose or not.

“Since Hyunjin started dumping them in my bag without me noticing.” Changbin answers, unwrapping the one he got to look at the message. “Pretty sure he got other people to do it if he couldn’t, but they’re definitely from him.” Hyunjin has a lot of friends, after all, and they’re so many Changbin can’t even begin to imagine who they are. He wouldn’t notice if they passed by him in the hall or in the cafeteria, secretly dropping the crumpled post-its into his bag.

Changbin only read one note the first time he opened his bag and saw a surprising amount of the paper balls inside before realizing that it was Hyunjin’s doing, so he didn’t check the rest anymore and doesn’t know what they say.

The post-it he currently opens is neither of the ones he saw before, a different message saying in Hyunjin’s familiar handwriting, _You have a nice smile when you listen to music._ It’s way different from the last one Changbin read, which was, _please stop hating the world when the world gave you me :)_ , but the younger knows to count his blessings when he sees them.

It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t seethe the exact same way at the new message, but at least Hyunjin’s being less self-centered and more . . . flirty. Which is, on second thought, probably kind of worse, because just because Hyunjin does it so often doesn’t mean Changbin’s used to it. He’s embarrassed now too, for being caught smiling for something like listening to music, and then there’s that other unexplainable flush of feeling pleased that he can’t explain, that’s just as puzzling.

He’s definitely annoyed though. Because if there’s anything that grates on Changbin’s nerves, it’s feeling too much and not being able to explain it. Mostly he wants to bash something against the wall. Likely his own head, if not Hyunjin’s.

Abruptly, he crumples the paper and tosses it back in the backpack, causing Felix to look up in surprise. “Mind throwing those away for me after you study my Trig notes?” Changbin asks, going back to his phone like nothing happened.

“Aren’t there messages in them?”

“Yup.”

“And you’re not going to read them.”

“Nope.”

He hopes his short answers convey enough: he doesn’t want to talk about it, and he wants to get over this topic as soon as possible. But because Felix is either a total shit or completely oblivious, he instead takes out another crumpled post-it — it’s blue — and reads the texts inside in silence. “It says here that there’s a party on Friday next week. He wants you to come.”

“I make great eye-candy, as hard as it is for people to believe.” Changbin flatly replies, trying to return his attention back to his phone. He only ends up clicking on the contacts app anyway, and scowls at how none of the previous conversations he’s had with Hyunjin via text have mentioned a party.

Felix snickers. “Are you going?”

Parties are not his thing. Changbin is well-aware he’s boring company, which Felix knows, and while he can hold his liquor, he can’t handle other students with it, which Felix also knows. Besides, they also both know the kind of crowd that parties like those invites. Not that they’re always that exclusive. More often than not, they’re the kind of events even Changbin and Felix can go to if they want, because they’re not actually total losers; they’re just intentionally isolated. They just don’t go, because it’s not their scene. Or at least, it’s not Changbin’s. Felix, he has no idea.

“If lover boy can’t even tell it to me directly to my face or text, then I don’t see why I should.” Changbin says. “If he really wanted me to go, he would’ve told me straight up.”

“That’s a strange way of being romantic. Even for Hyunjin.” Felix comments, before he collects a handful of the paper balls before briefly disappearing into Changbin’s room, presumably to dispose them a few at a time.

“I have no idea what that means.” Changbin says, all too easily adapting to the shift, except he kind of does know, because Hyunjin isn’t known as the senior bachelor just because of his good looks and ever-so pleasant personality. _Romantic gestures_ , Changbin can almost imagine Hyunjin doing jazz hands as the words flash in his mind. “At least he acknowledges that it’s garbage.”

Felix frowns during his third round of going back and forth to discard the papers in his friend’s bag. “Why are there so many?”

“That’s probably like, two days’ worth of crumpled post-its.”

“And you never bothered to throw them because?”

Changbin shrugs. “Too lazy.” he says, not particularly willing to admit that he hadn’t gotten rid of them until now because it felt somewhat wrong, even if he couldn’t explicitly express why. Hyunjin’s fault, no doubt.

“Too lazy.” Felix repeats, like he doubts Changbin’s words. He doesn’t appear to think much of it though. Felix skims through the other’s notes before settling on a page and raising his head. “Are you too lazy to help me solve this problem set due tomorrow?”

Not like he has anything better to do. Changbin stands up, setting his phone aside. He takes note of how his backpack’s empty of Hyunjin’s post-its, and tries to ignore how the sight doesn’t make him feel as good as he hoped. He isn’t even going to begin thinking about the party.

➸

**_NOVEMBER 04, SECOND HALF OF THE SEMESTER, WEEK 4_ **

The Changbin from freshman year and before is vastly different from the Changbin of sophomore year onwards. Even Changbin acknowledges that. The extent of Felix, who he met in his first year of high school, acknowledging that, was basically him saying that Changbin could’ve easily been the school’s debate captain — and the youngest one, too — if he (a) bothered joining, and (b) didn’t quit being the number one unofficial protestor to whatever the school enforced on them that they believed to be unjust. Changbin thinks that statement is an insult to the debate team, because he’s not even that good. He was just _that_ kid. The loud, outspoken one who used to love History class because it was the best time to bring up controversial or debatable issues that would lead to feuds within the class; not because they had the best bedtime stories and nap times he could ever ask for.  

That isn’t the person he is now, and no one remembers him as that because it’s been so long. (Except Hyunjin, of course, but Changbin doesn’t want to bother figuring out why.) It’s senior year; he wants to make the most out of it by relaxing, avoiding trouble, keeping a low profile. And while fake dating Hyunjin definitely eliminated that last bit, at least the first two, he thinks he can still manage to keep.

Maybe. If he doesn’t skewer this guy who keeps on pestering him about . . . well, _everything._

“Pst,” the guy next to him says for like, probably the tenth time. Changbin’s eye tries not to twitch. In the back of his mind, he can hear Hyunjin telling him that it’s a not a pretty sight, and first of all, since when did Hyunjin’s voice make itself home in his head? Secondly, just to spite imaginary Hyunjin, he doesn’t suppress it, and makes sure the guy beside him sees it. “Are you really gonna ignore me?”

“This is detention.” Changbin points out lowly, purposefully not looking at the guy. “We’re not supposed to be talking.”

The guy scoffs, leaning back on his seat. From the corner of his eye, Changbin spots the letters CB written on his hand, and decides to just mentally call him that. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be drawing dicks on the stick figure that you labelled as Mr. Kim either.”

Mr. Kim, the teacher always in charge of handling students who are involuntarily stuck here during after school hours, looks up from the book he’s reading at the mention of his name, even if the two are safely positioned at the back of the classroom. (Then again, there are only around ten students in here, and if most of them aren’t sleeping, then they aren’t doing anything particularly loud or worth caring about.) Changbin just blinks innocently at his direction until Mr. Kim goes back to minding his own business, pretending like two students here aren’t going to start talking and possibly defeat the purpose of detention being a punishment, because he doesn’t give a shit any more than the rest of them do about being here.

Changbin looks down at his drawing, which is exactly as CB says. He thinks about how he’ll have to remove any evidence of this page by the time he gets home, because his sister snoops around his stuff most of the time just to be an ass. At least it’s all in pencil. He decides he might as well start now, so he gets his eraser.

“Is that why you’re here?” CB continues asking, voice kind of hushed because it’s a quiet room but still loud enough for Changbin to not need to strain his ears to hear him. _Jesus Christ._ Changbin thinks about how he should’ve eased his boredom in this detention by sleeping like nearly everyone else here instead of mindlessly drawing genitalia. It’s not like it’d be hard. If he thinks about it, sleeping could be his _real_ passion in life. “For penises?”

In truth, the reason Changbin’s here because for the first time in what felt like _years_ , his History teacher brought up an issue on gun control in the U.S.A. in relation to school shootings, and while the class only half-heartedly talked about it because they’re in Asia and they don’t have the same culture and the same set of rules, Seo Changbin had suddenly reverted back to his freshman self and younger, and started arguing with whatever bastard said anything along the lines of, _they pretty much asked for it_. The teacher was not exempted from this, even if he knew that Ms. Lee was mostly bringing up those points to further prompt the other students to join in.

Debating and standing up for his opinion isn’t exactly why he’s in detention. The more specific reason is because at some point, rather unconsciously, he swore at Ms. Lee, and then she snapped and accused him of something like verbal assault. Changbin had half a mind to argue with her on _that_ , this time around, but he already overstepped his boundaries the moment he opened his mouth and said something actually worth listening to rather than the usual bullshitted, aloof response he’d grown accustomed to saying, and knew it was better to step down before he got ahead of himself. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel bad about it. Part of why he used to be so into it was because he just liked riling people up, after all. It doesn’t matter whether or not he’s particularly passionate about it; the adrenaline he gets when he sees people lose their minds is too satisfying to ignore.

(Which is technically why he stopped doing it. But he slipped now, he’ll admit it. He won’t let it happen again. He didn’t waste years trying to hide himself only for it to unravel in the span of a few moments, weeks, months.

Then again, that plan has already been falling apart the moment Hyunjin walked in, so he doesn’t know why he even bothers.)

“I mean,” Changbin says, even though he absolutely does not want to tell CB guy why he’s here. Just to humor him though, “I guess you could say that I’m here because I’m a dick.”

CB laughs, and it’s pretty loud, and that should be concerning, except no one even gazes at their direction. Mr. Kim is pointedly ignoring them; he must be reading something really good if that’s the case.

“I’m here because my boyfriend’s a dick.” CB says. And Changbin didn’t ask, because he’s not interested in knowing, but just to be polite,

“Yeah?” he inquires, prompting further explanation.

“Mhm,” CB twirls an earphone between his fingertips. Changbin looks at him this time. Definitely cute, though the leather jacket and platinum gold hair tips him more to the _hot_ factor. “I forgot to put my phone on silent and it rung during Bio. It was a text too, so I had to read it aloud in front of the class per teacher’s orders.”

“Shit, man.” Changbin says. “Did he get chewed out too?”

“Him? Nah. He’s overseas right now, part of a dance competition, representing the school. Time differences seemed to have slipped past him today.”

“Representing the school, huh.”

They mostly talk about CB’s boyfriend, whose name Changbin doesn’t manage to explicitly get, though from the way CB talks about him, he should know him, except Changbin’s never been known for his superior deductive skills. Besides, this is technically small talk, albeit bordering on personal now, and CB’s getting pretty casual with him already. Changbin still doesn’t even know his real name. At some point, it shifts to music, which he’s surprised they have similar tastes in, lots of rock and punk and _punk rock_ , but then it still goes back to CB’s boyfriend, because this guy somehow manages to make everything related to his boyfriend. It’s sweet, but also mildly sickening. Romance really isn’t Changbin’s forte.

“As much as I love talking about my boyfriend, how about you?” CB says, at some point, and Changbin stills.

“How about my what, exactly?” Changbin asks, except he’s not stupid and has an idea on what CB is gonna ask and he needs to think of at least ten different ways to respond to a question he doesn’t even know yet.

“You’re really bad at acting dumb.” CB tells him. “You and Hyunjin, I mean.” He gestures. “It’s been the talk of the town for like, well, for the first two weeks in you announced yourselves official. Not so much now anymore, obviously, but still interesting. How are you two?”

“What are you, a journalist?” Changbin says, half sarcastic and half curious because he still barely knows this CB guy. He could be anybody. Leatherjacket gay boy doesn’t tell a person enough. “I think I already filled my quota for that.”

“I’m curious.” he easily replies. “What’s it like dating the ever-famous playboy Hwang Hyunjin? Is it hard, since he gets look wherever he goes, flirts with nearly everyone he sees? Don’t you get that question a lot?”

No, actually, besides Yeji’s comment in the interview, and this one now. Changbin thinks dryly.  

The reality is that Hyunjin doesn’t care about what other people say about him, and Changbin only cares about other’s view of him to _some_ extent. Though mostly, his goal is for people to have _no_ perception of him in the first place. But Changbin cares about what other people think of _Hyunjin_ , and while he knows it’s probably too late to be able to change the other’s complicated reputation, it doesn’t mean he can’t defend him. Doesn’t mean he has to prove them right when he knows they’re wrong, because he knows Hyunjin.

He _knows_ him, because despite all the years that have passed, despite the distance that grew in between them, Hyunjin is still the same guy he always was.  

“Christ, it’s not as bad as everyone thinks it is.” Changbin snaps, anger flowing out the same way it did with Yeji. “He’s obnoxious sometimes, yeah, and he’s pretty shameless about the fact that everyone likes him, but he’s— Hyunjin’s sweet. Always means well. He’s a good guy. In general. And for me.” That last part he almost doesn’t add.

He’s surprised at how the words, which he says without thinking, are surprisingly truthful to even himself, even if he omitted the other things about Hyunjin that Changbin knows aren’t the type of things you’d hear from two people in a supposedly committed and happy relationship. He replays the words back in his head, and he can’t help but blush in embarrassment. He sounds like a cheesy bastard; it’s disgusting.

When he looks though, CB just looks thoughtful, neither surprised nor offended. “I’m Bang Chan, by the way.” he says, extending his hand towards him. “Congrats.”

“Uh,” Changbin says, staring at Chan’s hand in confusion. “What?”

Chan laughs. “I’m a friend of Hyunjin’s.” And, _oh_.

“So that was just,” Changbin stammers. “What, some kind of test?”

“How else would I figure out if you were good for him?” explains Chan. Changbin just stares.

“Are you going to threaten me and say that I’ll never see the light of day if I hurt Hyunjin?” Changbin asks, eyeing Chan’s clothes and wondering if the pockets he has are secretly carrying a weapon or something particularly lethal.

At that moment, Mr. Kim announces the detention is over, and the students start to file out. Chan pats him on the shoulder. “I like you, kid.” he says instead of answering.

Changbin scowls. “We’re in the same year.”

Chan waves a hand, like the fact’s irrelevant. “There’s an upcoming party this Friday.” he tells him, and Changbin tries not to grimace, because Hyunjin hasn’t mentioned it at all this entire week to the point where Changbin actually blessedly forgot about it, thought that Hyunjin really was just joking about him coming. “Hyunjin’s coming. Are you?”

Changbin tries not to squirm, feeling like he’s being scrutinized. “Who’s asking?”

It sounds awfully defensive, but Chan doesn’t look offended, just amused. It’s probably Hyunjin’s influence, to either not to take anything Changbin says seriously or just not be bothered by it. Changbin doesn’t actually know if it’s a good thing or not. “Just me. It’ll be fun, I promise. I’m friends with the guy hosting it, so trust me when I say this time’s gonna be good.” Changbin doesn’t say anything about that, and his reluctance must be visible to Chan, because he also says, “If you ever decide to come and get bored of hanging around your boyfriend, just go to me. I’ll be easy to spot in the crowd, and I’ll be more than happy to entertain.”

“That’s a lot of effort you’re putting for someone you just met in detention.”  

“I like you.” he simply says again, like it’s an answer. “Anyways, don’t be a stranger in the hallways, ‘kay?” He gets up and slips an earphone back in. “We should talk some more about music sometime too. Fuck knows I’m already sick of your boyfriend’s. It’s just romcom soundtracks and one old school mainstream band.”

At that, Changbin can’t help but crack a smile, momentarily forgetting that their entire relationship is a complete hoax. “It’s part of the package.”

Chan laughs. By the time Changbin leaves the classroom, he has a new phone number and a new friend.

➸

**_NOVEMBER 8, SECOND HALF OF THE SEMESTER, WEEK 4_ **

Changbin’s notoriously labelled as “bad boy” (by no one except Hyunjin, actually, though some people still get the reference) because he tended to not listen to teachers when he didn’t like what they said and always got in trouble for speaking out, but besides that, he’s a decent student with a more or less clean record. The only rules he’s ever broken were uniform-related; rude behaviours were not in the handbook, and though it did warrant detentions and an occasional visit to the Guidance Office, that was essentially it. Despite Changbin’s nickname, he doesn’t go around breaking rules.

On the other hand, Hyunjin, who is JYP’s golden boy, is a terrible, terrible influence. He’s also the only guy who could really convince Changbin to bring his deck of cards so that they can play Speed. Card games are considered a form of gambling, but it’s more or less not that big of a rule, and for some reason, it’s not one that students often break. Getting high in the bathroom happens more frequently, and that warrants a suspension if found out. Gambling is practically child’s play in comparison, and really just gets your things confiscated and a long sermon on why indulging in games like this can lead to the supposed ruin of your life.

They’re not even betting anyway, but bringing of cards and playing with them in school premises still isn’t allowed. It doesn’t stop Changbin and Hyunjin from doing it either way over lunch, both their bodies hunched forward and their cards pressed against their own chests.

He blames Hyunjin for being a bad influence, but he has to admit it’s a good way to alleviate their boredom, considering that they have nothing to do for lunch.

“How the fuck are you so good at this,” Changbin grumbles with a scowl, when Hyunjin’s hands are free of cards for the third time in a row, ending the game in his favor. “You don’t even own a deck.”

Hyunjin grins and collects the cards, shuffling them with practiced ease that has Changbin watching his hands in something like awe. Getting caught won’t happen, because they’re in Hyunjin’s Special Spot (Felix was the one who named it that, not Changbin. It just happened to stick, because he didn’t know what else to call it), and barely anyone passes through this area, but it’s still in public, so Changbin’s paranoia is still high on alert, and his gaze darts around them before returning to the cards. “I play a lot with my other friends.” he answers. “Plus, this is pretty much the staple entertainment during parties, if not the usual drinking games. It’s a good way to keep your head straight. Makes you concentrate.”

Changbin frowns at the mention of parties while Hyunjin hands him his cards. “Don’t you have a party tonight?”

“Oh, yeah.” Hyunjin says, as he flips two cards at the center, and they start playing. “I don’t think I’m going.”

“One of your friends said you were going though.” Talking is a little harder for Changbin when he has to also focus on putting his cards in the right place, but Hyunjin does it so easily, and it sparks up Changbin’s competitive side. A part of him can’t believe that this is something that riles him up. “How come you never told me?” he asks distractedly.

Hyunjin stops. That gives Changbin the opportunity to put in around four more cards, and that amount of progress means he only has only two left, a hand way smaller than Hyunjin’s current one, but the younger doesn’t react. All he does is quietly place down two more cards before saying, “I told you through one of my post-its. But you never mentioned it, so I thought it meant you weren’t interested.”

“I didn’t see it.” Changbin says, even though that’s a big fat lie, because he did, sort of, through Felix. “You think I have time to read through all that?”

Hyunjin frowns. Changbin’s about to ask why he’s making that face, but then Hyunjin’s eyes turn bright. “Does that mean you aren’t going to say no if I ask you if you’ll go with me?”

Now it’s Changbin’s turn to frown. “I thought you weren’t going.”

“Because you weren’t going!” exclaims Hyunjin, arms flailing excitedly. The cards fall onto the bench. Changbin stares at the cards between them in disdain, because that means the game’s over. And to think he was in the lead.   

“Since when has that stopped you?”

“Listen,” Hyunjin begins, leaning forward. “Parties are only fun to go with if you’re single or if you’re with your partner. Same rule goes with bars.”

Changbin raises an eyebrow. “And you would know.”

“I would.” He says with a firm nod. Partly to push him away from being so close to his face, and mostly out of habit (and because the last thing he wants is a repeat of the last time their faces were so close together), Changbin pinches his ear. Hyunjin winces and pulls back. “So, are we going?”

Changbin gives him a look. “I hate parties.”

“I’ll make this one fun.” Hyunjin quickly replies. Didn’t someone promise him that exact same thing? Changbin doesn’t remember anymore. “I swear. I’m good at making things fun.”

Changbin rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say.” He says. “What were you going to do if you weren’t going?”

“Crash at your place.” Hyunjin answers, like it’s obvious. “All of my other friends will be at the party, so I have no one else to bug.”

Changbin scrunches up his nose as he gathers all the cards into one pile. Once again, Hyunjin leans forward, face only a few inches from his to look at him properly in the eye. His eyes crinkle as he says, “I know you don’t want me coming over.”

There’s a prickling sensation at the back of Changbin’s neck, and it makes him want to look away, but that means losing this battle that’s just started between them, and Changbin doesn’t want to be the one to back down. The way Hyunjin’s looking at him though— it’s like he’s trying to search for something and he thinks he can find the answer if he looks in Changbin’s eyes long enough or pressures him into giving it himself. It means Hyunjin can do this all day, unaffected by the sheer proximity between them as long as he can get his point across. Changbin internally grimaces. Hyunjin always just makes things harder.

Since pinching him clearly doesn’t work, Changbin headbutts him hard in the forehead before he can get embarrassed at how close Hyunjin is and show it. Changbin instantly feels dizzy after doing it, but it works, because Hyunjin throws his head back and groans in pain, rubbing his forehead tenderly.

“Stop getting in my face.” says Changbin, voice thankfully even. “One day, I’m going to spray you with pepper spray.”

Hyunjin pouts, pulling his hand away from his forehead. “Lots of people would pay just to get a close-up of my face.”

“Then join the modeling industry.” Changbin replies, waving a hand. “And stop blackmailing me to do shit you want.” His mouth curls. “I bet you just said you wouldn’t go just to make me feel bad enough to say yes.”

“So it _is_ a yes!” Hyunjin points out, grinning broadly at him.

Changbin gets a card and flicks it at his face. “Whatever.” he says, not looking at Hyunjin because the younger looks like he’s so happy he could kiss him.

And Changbin— he doesn’t know what to make of that thought.

Hyunjin’s still smiling at him though, and something in Changbin tells him that maybe saying yes is worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Happened In Prom? the events that transpired there are quite Juicy, but idk if i'll be talking abt it in the future chapters for this fic. might make a whole separate fic for it tho, like a side story or smth. idk depends if you guys would want that (and if i have time haha). 
> 
> side note, but changbin's feelings are progressing faster than i intended to, and honestly, at this point, i have no idea what's going to happen. please forgive me for any future inconsistencies and feel free to point them out so i can fix them (tho nicely pls)
> 
> happy pride month everybody!!!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! kudos and comments are appreciated, as always <3 <3 hit me up on my [twt](https://twitter.com/hanjisquish) or my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/youngwings)


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